1663 Days
by HeMoIsBoss
Summary: Santana expects to see Brittany back in Lima, it's for Will and Emma's wedding after all. What she doesn't expect to see is her holding hands with a child that looks exactly like she did when she was three years old. Warning: GP Santana, so if you don't like it, please don't read.
1. Plane Rides

**Santana expects to see Brittany back in Lima, it's for Will and Emma's wedding after all. What she doesn't expect to see is her holding hands with a child that looks exactly like she did when she was three years old.**

**Warning: GP Santana, so if you don't like it, please don't read. I wouldn't have done GP but I had this idea and I really wanted to do it with Brittana being the couple and this was the only way :)**

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Brittany is tired. It's two o'clock in the morning and the plane has just landed in Ohio. All she wants to do now is close her eyes and go to sleep, but she knows that she can't do that yet because her journey is not over. There's still an hour and forty five minute drive to Lima, and she's glad that she booked a taxi in advance because she's fairly certain that if she didn't, there'd be little chance of her getting one this early in the morning.

Thinking about it, Brittany knows that if she had called her parents and told them that she was coming to Lima, then they would have come to the airport to pick her up, but they don't know that she''s here. No one does and she's glad of that, but she's a bit disappointed that at ten o'clock in the morning, she will make her appearance at Lima Bean and everyone will know of her return.

She's back in Lima for Will and Emma's wedding, and even though she's not been in contact with them for years, it's not something that she was ever going to miss. She promised she'd be there, and a promise is a promise. She has to admit though, she was a bit shocked when she received the invitation because she didn't think that anyone knew where she lived, she has a hunch that it was probably Sue that was able to track her down, but in all honesty she doesn't really want to know how they found her. It's just another thing that she'll find out when she enters Lima Bean at ten o'clock.

The exit to the plane opens allowing the passengers to leave, and the cold winter air from the outside sneaks in and blows past her, wakening her up a little bit. Without thinking about it too much, she slips her cardigan off her shoulders and down her arms before gently draping it over the sleeping body next to her, she doesn't want her to get cold.

Brittany watches as the plane slowly begins to empty and she knows that she should probably make her ways towards the exit too, but she decides to wait because in her opinion it's too crowded. She actually doesn't mind crowds, she enjoys being in among groups of people, but not when she's carrying the most important thing in the world in her arms. That's just not safe and the thought of her doing so puts her a little bit on edge.

"Mama?" Brittany turns in the direction of where the soft sleepy voice is coming from, and fixes her gaze upon the small figure who s tiredly rubbing at her eyes with her tiny hands. "We go too?"

"Yeah baby, we're going too." She confirms as she unbuckles her seat-belt and proudly watches as the infant beside her does the same. Once they're both standing, she scoops the child up in her arms, being careful to keep the cardigan covering her, and grabs her travel bag up from the floor.

The journey from the plane itself to the airport is short and before she can even register what's really happening, she finds herself waiting on her luggage. It doesn't take long for her to spot what belongs to her and sh skillfully picks up her suitcase with her free hand whilst balancing the half-asleep child on her hip. After checking that she has everything she needs, the blonde briskly walks towards the exit, successfully dodging everyone in her way.

She doesn't expect it to be so cold outside, so when the bitter air attacks her and causes the hair on her bare arms to rise up, she cuddles the now sleeping infant closer to her chest in an attempt to protect her from it. She doesn't mind being cold if it means that her child won't be. Brittany scans the area quickly, and luckily she spots her taxi straight away. She explained her situation to the company over the phone a few days ago, so when the driver places her suitcase in the back and she climbs inside, she's delighted to see a car seat securely in place. Carefully, she places the youngster into it and straps her in, placing a loving kiss on her tan forehead before sitting back in her own seat.

The car begins to move and Brittany rests her head on the glass of the car window, looking out onto the dark and unfamiliar surroundings. She's vaguely aware that soon, the surroundings will become familiar but she forces that thought to the back of her mind, not wanting to accept the inevitable. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want to walk the streets that she used to walk whilst growing up. She doesn't want to remember the good and bad times that she had. She doesn't want to be forced to confront her past, but here she is, doing exactly that because she knows that she has to. She can't hide forever.

The journey into Lima is long and boring, and the closer they get to their destination, the more nervous Brittany becomes. She wants to close her eyes, fall asleep and forget about it all for a little while however, she manages to keep her eyes open and instead looks at the sleeping body next to her, feeling slightly jealous that she has no care in the world right now.

It's half past three in the morning when the taxi eventually comes to a stop outside of Lima's best hotel (there really is no competition). The taxi driver gets her suitcase from the back and she's thankful for that as she's finding it hard to balance a sleeping child on her hip whilst trying to hand over the correct amount of money. After counting it out twice, Brittany swaps the man the money for her suitcase, insisting that he keeps the change, and then she rushes inside.

The warmth of the hotel hits her at full force when she enters, and she really couldn't be more happy about it. She'd gotten used to the cold from outside, but now she's realising just how cold she actually is. The hotel had been expecting her so she quickly shows her I.D to prove who she is and then in return, receives a key to her room. It turns out that she's staying on the top floor which right now, isn't really ideal because Brittany feels as if she's going to collapse at any moment. She doesn't complain though -she realised long ago that it gets her nowhere- and she even politely declines the offer when the woman behind the desk offers to help her carry her suitcase up to her room.

A suitcase. That's all she's brought with her because she knows that she's not going to be staying for long. She's booked the hotel room for a week, but honestly, she doesn't think she'll be able to last that long. She gives herself three days maximum. Three days and then she'll be on a flight home, emotionally drained and hating herself more than she does now. Part of her thinks that hating herself even more can't be possible, but the other part of her knows that she can. She made a mistake. She made a big mistake and it's taken her four years, five months, and nineteen days to finally do something about it.

The hotel room isn't anything spectacular, but she doesn't care. Dropping the suitcase at the door and kicking it closed behind her, Brittany makes her way over to the double bed in the middle of the room and gently places the sleeping child down onto it before lying down next to her, wrapping her arms protectively around her.

"Mama?" The child in her arms stirs awake. "I tired." She yawns, snuggling closer into the woman's body, known to her as the safest place in the world.

"Close your eyes, Sweetie." She soothes, running one of her hands through the locks of curly dark brown hair in front of her. "Mama's here and everything is going to be okay."

Brittany wants to believe her own words, but she doesn't know if she can.

Only time will tell.

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**I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Lima Bean

It's safe to say that Brittany is a nervous wreck. She's running on three hours of sleep, she's not had anything to eat, and she's fairly certain that her heart is about to jump out of her chest at any second. Being nervous is a completely unfamiliar feeling for Brittany because it's not something she experiences often. She hates the feeling, and she knows that she's nervous because she's going to see _her._

It's been one thousand six hundred and sixty three days since Brittany has seen Santana. Which in other words means that it's been one thousand six hundred and sixty three days since Brittany has felt complete. Nothing has ever felt right without Santana in her life, and despite the past three (nearly four) years being amazing because the birth of her daughter, not having Santana there with her has taken it's toll.

Brittany shakes the thought of Santana out of her head as she walks down the quiet streets of Lima whilst holding onto the little mitten-covered hand in hers and she reminds herself that she isn't here to win Santana back. That has never been part of the plan. She's just here to make things right and to congratulate Will and Emma on their special day. The thought of seeing Santana but not being able to be with her kills the blonde inside, but she knows that it's the way that it's supposed to be. It's her fault that they're not together anymore. She's the one that left her first love behind when she escaped from Lima. It's one of her biggest regrets.

She stops thinking about her past when she feels her daughter's hand slowly slipping out of her grasp, so she holds on just a little bit tighter and softly smiles down at her. Her daughter is the most important thing in the world, and if she wasn't here just now then Brittany is pretty sure that she wouldn't have the courage to go to Lima Bean and explain to all of her friends about why she left one thousand six hundred and sixty three days ago. Actually, now that she thinks about it, Brittany knows that if it wasn't for her daughter, she wouldn't have even gotten on the plane to Ohio. Her little girl gives her so much strength and support, and in Brittany's eyes, she truly is an angel sent from above.

Cassidy Faith Pierce was born nine months and thirteen days after Brittany left Lima. The day that she was born was the best and the scariest day of Brittany's life, but she wouldn't change it for the world. At the time, she was a terrified and lonely nineteen year old girl, but she completely forgot about that when she held her daughter in her arms for the first time. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, and she has never felt anything better. Cassidy is what drives her to be the person that she is today.

The walk to Lima Bean is unusually quiet and Brittany thinks that it's because Cassidy can pick up on her uneasiness, which makes her feel incredibly guilty because she doesn't want her daughter to feel like that. She's the one that's supposed to take care of her daughter. She's not meant to make her feel scared or worried and the blonde mentally scolds herself for not realising this sooner. She does her best to push all of her negative and worrying thoughts to the back of her mind, but it proves to be difficult and it makes her feel as if she's drowning in them.

Brittany feels her phone vibrate in her back jean pocket and she's glad of the distraction from her thoughts. With her free hand, she takes it out of her pocket and unlocks it, smiling when she sees that she has a message from Kurt waiting to be read.

A month ago she and Kurt started talking again, and she's really glad that she found his number scribbled on the back of Will and Emma's wedding invitation along with clear instructions to call him. The pair had surprisingly been great friends in high school despite their differences, and he was one of the people that Brittany missed the most when she left. Except from Santana, Kurt was the person that she thought that she could trust with almost anything and she deeply regretted forgetting about him when she moved out of Lima, but it was something she had to do. Back then, she wanted to stay in contact with him, but she was scared that if she did, everyone else would find out about where she went and they'd force her to come home and that was a risk that she definitely wasn't going to take.

**Incoming from Kurt Hummel:** _'Everyone is at Lima Bean waiting for you, are you still coming?'_

The text itself makes the knot in Brittany's stomach tighten and she swallows the lump that has formed in her throat. It's not that she doesn't want to see her old friends, it's that everything just seems so much more real now. In the next five minutes, she'll be sitting in front of her high school friends with her daughter in her lap and the thought terrifies her.

**Sending to Kurt Hummel:** '_Running late, will be there in five'_

She quickly taps out her reply and sends it to her friend before shoving her phone into her pocket and turning her attention back to her daughter who is now playing with the toy monkey in her hand. Cheeky the monkey is why they're running late today. He's Cassidy's favourite monkey and he travels everywhere with them, so when they couldn't find him this morning because Brittany forgot that she had put him in the travel bag and not in their suitcase, Cassidy was adamant that she wasn't going without him. It had taken Brittany fifteen minutes to find him and she's glad that she did because during her search for him, she had the unfortunate task of listening to her daughter cry which is the one thing that she hates the most because the sound of Cassidy crying breaks her heart. She'd do anything to make her happy.

The five minutes seem to fly by and before Brittany knows it, she's standing outside Lima Bean and once again it feels as if her heart is going to beat out of her chest at any second. She doesn't want to do this anymore. She doesn't want to go inside and explain her life to everyone. It's none of their business. It stopped being their business the day that she left.

"We go inside, Mama?" Cassidy questions, tugging at her mother's hand to get her attention, and when Brittany looks down into those questioning brown eyes she knows that she has to do this. She may not necessarily want to, but she has to. It's for her daughter and she'd do anything for her.

"Yeah baby, we're going inside." She nods her head and lets out a deep breath as she does so. She doesn't think that she'll ever be able to get the nervous feeling in her stomach to go away, but just by holding her daughter's hand, it makes her feel a little bit better and Brittany's sure that if she wasn't here with her today, then she wouldn't have made it this far.

As soon as Brittany enters the shop, the familiar smell of java hits her at full force and this surprises her because she honestly didn't think that after all this time a shop smell would be able to bring back so many memories for her. She remembers coming here to hang out with her friends every weekend. She remembers coming here to meet up with Kurt so that he could help her with her homework. She remembers coming here to give Mercedes advice on how to ask Sam out. She remembers coming here to plan dance routines with Mike. She remembers so many things about it, but the thing that sticks in her mind the most is that she remembers coming here on dates with Santana.

Dates to Lima Bean were always Brittany's favourite because they were so relaxed and casual. Neither she or Santana ever got dressed up for them and she enjoyed just being able to spend some time with her girlfriend without the added pressure of trying to impress her and make sure that she was having a good time. It meant that they could just spend time with each other and not have to worry about anything else, and it was those moments that Brittany treasured. She still treasures them, even now. She doubts they're something that she'll ever forget.

Brittany's too caught up in her reminiscing so much so that she doesn't notice Kurt coming towards her before it's too late and he's wrapped her up in a hug. At first her whole body stiffens because she wasn't expecting it, but a few seconds later she relaxes and wraps one of her arms around his shoulder.

"I've missed you so much!" He breathes into her shoulder due to the height difference. "Don't ever leave without telling me again." She feels his arms tighten around her waist and a sudden rush of guilt washes over her.

When she was eighteen, leaving everyone and everything behind seemed like a good idea, but now, at the age of twenty two and with a lot of life experience behind her, she realises that running away from her problems and leaving everyone behind was not the right thing to do. However, if she could go back in time to change it, she wouldn't. Being on her own has given her time to grow into the woman that she is today and Brittany knows that if she had stayed in Lima, then she wouldn't have been able to do that.

"I'll never do that again." She answers as she pull out of her friend's embrace so that she can see his face. He looks no different from the last time that she saw him, but she knew that anyway because ever since she got back in contact with him, she and Kurt have been Skyping almost every day. "I promise."

Kurt simply nods his head knowing not to take the conversation any further and lowers his gaze to the child who is looking curiously up at him, the excitement clear in her eyes. "Cassidy, you look so much more beautiful in person!" He exclaims as he crouches down so that he's level with her. "It's nice to finally meet you!" He stretches out his hand for the youngster to take, but his forwardness scares her and instead, she hides behind her mother's leg.

"Mama, he not in a computer no more." Cassidy states, tightening her hold on both Cheeky the monkey and on her mother's hand.

Sensing her daughter's distress, Brittany crouches down so that she too is level with Cassidy and places a comforting hand on her back in an attempt to calm her down. "Good seeing skills, Cass!" Brittany praises, leaning over to place a kiss onto the side of her head. "Kurt is not in the computer anymore because he has come to Lima Bean to visit us."

"Oh," She breathes out as she furrows her eyebrows together and narrows her eyes at the man in front of her, still not fully trusting him. She's supposed to be looking intimidating, but Kurt thinks it's adorable and has to bring his hand up to his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

Shifting from the crouching position that she's in, Brittany moves so that she's once again standing straight and scoops up Cassidy, resting her on her left hip. "I'm sorry for the way that she's behaving, she's always like this around new people. Although, I'm surprised that she's acting like this with you because the pair of you seemed to get on well during our Skype sessions."

"Don't worry about it, I understand." Kurt shrugs as he stands up too. He has to admit, it's weird seeing Brittany holding and caring for child, but he's sure that it's possibly one of the cutest things ever. He always knew that she'd grow up to be an amazing mother, although he thought that it would happen in many years to come. "Lets go over to our table, we're all waiting for you and I saved you a seat next to me."

Before Brittany can protest, Kurt grabs her by the wrist and begins to drag her towards the back of the shop to where all of her friends are sitting. With every step they take, Brittany becomes more on edge and she lets her motherly instinct take over as she holds her daughter closer to her chest in an attempt to shield her from all questioning and disapproving looks that they're receiving. She can deal with the judgmental stares if they're directed at her, she has been doing so for the past three years after all, but if they're directed at her daughter, she swears that she'll rip the onlookers eyes out. No one has the right to judge her daughter. No one at all.

The table is quiet when she and Kurt arrive and this intimidates Brittany a little bit because she's certain that the eleven -twelve including Kurt- people there have something to say about the current situation. The blonde follows Kurt's lead and slips into the seat next to him, sitting Cassidy on her knee however the youngster has other plans and turns around in her lap, hiding her face in the crook of her neck which is also known as Cassidy's favourite hiding place.

Brittany can feel everyone's eyes on her, willing her to do something, but right now her main priority is making sure that her daughter is comfortable with the environment that she's in, so instead of greeting them all and diving into her life story, she turns her attention to her daughter. "Are you okay, Sweetie?" She asks softly and quietly into Cassidy's ear, but still loud enough for everyone else at the table to hear. She feels her daughter nod her head in response, but it doesn't fully convince her. "Is Cheeky okay?"

"Nuh-uh." Cassidy mumbles into her neck as she shakes her head from side to side and it makes Brittany smile. If there is one thing that everyone should know about Cassidy, it's that she's very stubborn and even at her young and innocent age, she never admits to how she feels when she's first asked the question.

"Cheeky isn't okay?" The blonde gasps dramatically which makes her daughter lift her head up so that she can look at her mother. "What's wrong with him?"

"He scared of all the people." The youngster whispers, her big brown eyes filled with concern as she pushes the toy monkey into Brittany's face. "He hungry too." She adds as an after thought, nodding her head to confirm her statement.

Chuckles come from around the table, but Brittany's too focused on her daughter to care who they're actually coming from. She can feel her face heat up at the thought of everyone listening to her interaction with her daughter because it's not something that she's really used to, but she supposes that she needs to just get over it because she's sitting here now and they're all witnessing it.

"Cheeky is scared of all the people _and_ he's hungry! Oh my goodness, that's not good!" She pouts which makes the child on her lap smile and reach out to touch her cheek. "What if we tell Cheeky that all the people here, especially Kurt, are very nice and Mama will go and get Cheeky a cookie to eat? Will that make him happy?"

This time it's gasps that come from around the table and Brittany knows it's because she referred to herself as 'Mama'. It's the first time that she has acknowledged that she is the little girl's mother whilst in their presence so she can understand why they're shocked and surprised. Well, everyone is except from Kurt but that's because he already knew about it.

"Yeah!" Cassidy squeals at the idea of getting a cookie, the excitement clear in her voice. "Hartelijk dank, Mama!"

Brittany feels her heart swell with pride when she hears her daughter switch from English to Dutch because it's not something that happens very often. At home, when it's just the two of them, Brittany tries to speak Dutch around the house so that Cassidy can learn it like she did when she was younger, but because of her age, it's something that Cassidy doesn't remember easily and she usually only speaks it when prompted to do so.

"Graag gedaan!" She answers as she leans in and places a kiss on her forehead. "You're welcome and well done for using your Dutch words, I'm super proud of you!" Brittany repeats in English to reinforce the meaning of her previous statement not only for her daughter, but also for the people around her. "Now, I want you and Cheeky to stay with Kurt and I'll go and buy you a cookie, okay?"

"I'll go and buy it of you want." It's Santana's soft and raspy voice that makes the offer and it makes Brittany momentarily forget how to breathe. She's not heard her voice in so long and just the sound of it makes the blonde want to cry because she's missed it that much.

She's aware that the Latina is sitting opposite her (she's sure that Kurt planned it on purpose) but she just can't bring herself to look at her because she's scared of what she'll see if she does. She's scared that all of her feelings that she's done so well to keep pushed down deep inside her will resurface just by looking at her, and she really doesn't want to take that chance. Not right now anyway.

"It's uhm, it's okay." Brittany replies in a shaky breath, suddenly finding the wood grains on the table very interesting. "I need to go and check if she's allowed them, she's allergic to nuts."

"Oh..." Santana breathes out, her breath hitching at the end and Brittany is sure that Santana is catching on to what's going on so she stands up and places Cassidy back down onto the chair before rummaging through her bag and finding some money.

"Mama will be back in a minute baby, be good." She places another kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Kurt, you better take care of my daughter or I'll kick your butt." She calls over her shoulder as she begins to walk away, to which Kurt just shakes his head and chuckles softly.

Brittany has just given her order of one hot chocolate, one blueberry muffin and one chocolate chip cookie to the cashier at the register when she hears the footsteps of someone coming up behind her. It's the faint sweet smell of vanilla that hits her first and the blonde doesn't even need to turn around to know that it's Santana who is standing behind her.

Slowly, she turns around to face the woman and she immediately regrets that decision because Santana looks more beautiful than she remembers, despite the fact that she has tears running down her cheeks, and just the sight of her makes her long legs go weak. Brittany opens her mouth to say something but before she can even get a word out, Santana launches herself into her arms and the blonde catches her with ease, hugging her tightly to her chest.

It's been one thousand six hundred and sixty three days since she last touched Santana. It's been too long and at that moment, Brittany realises just how much she actually needs Santana's support, even if it is just through a simple hug.

"I'm so sorry…" Brittany sobs into the head of dark brown hair that's in front of her, clutching onto the Latina's back tighter, afraid that if she lets go she's going to vanish into thin air. "I'm so fucking sorry."

Santana mirrors Brittany's movements and clings to her back too because she's already dealt with losing her once and she doesn't want to go through it again. "She's mine, isn't she?" Santana does her best to sound demanding, but her voice cracks and she begins to cry harder. "Tell me that the girl sitting on that chair next to Kurt is my daughter, Brittany."

"She's your daughter, Santana." Brittany hiccups in conformation, and that's all it takes for Santana to completely break down in her arms.

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Okay, wow, what can I say? Thank you so much for all your support, I totally was expecting that many alerts and reviews! So yeah, thank you all so much, it really means a lot.

Sorry for the wait, I did mean to have this up a while ago, but I have exams just now and time just passes by so quickly!

I know this is quite short, but I promise that the next chapter will be so much better! Also, for those that are asking, the GP will not be the main focus of this fic.

I hope you all enjoy and I'd love it if you'd leave a review so I can see what you think about it :)


	3. Lullabies

Brittany walks back to the table with her hot chocolate, chocolate chip cookie and blueberry muffin alone, which doesn't go unnoticed by the others at the table. She's aware that her eyes are bloodshot red and that her cheeks are still tear stained, but she acts as if everything is normal as she places her order down onto the table before lifting her daughter up and sliding into the now vacant seat.

She's beginning to think that bringing Cassidy to Lima Bean without warning Santana beforehand is one of the stupidest things that she could have done because now, Santana is locked away in the bathroom crying her eyes out and Brittany feels extremely guilty knowing that she's the cause of it. Part of her just wants to take Cassidy and leave before anyone can ask any questions, but the other part of her knows that she can't do that because she's spent long enough hiding her daughter from Santana and that's something that needs to stop immediately.

"Cassidy, would you like the chocolate chop cookie or the blueberry muffin?" She asks, giving her daughter a choice between the two despite already knowing what she's going to pick. It's always the same, she'll take a small bite out of both and then she'll still chooses the cookie, but once she's finished it she'll try (and succeed) to persuade Brittany into sharing the muffin with her.

Just as she predicted, Brittany watches in amusement as the child takes a bite out of the muffin and then one out of the cookie before licking her lips and grinning widely. "I would like the cookie please!" She decides not even giving her mother the chance to respond which makes most of the other adults at the table laugh.

Conversation flows easily around the table, and Brittany feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders when everyone splits up into different groups and begin chatting amongst themselves, diverting the attention away from her. It's not that she doesn't want them to ask her about her life, it's just that she feels as if it's something that she needs to privately explain to Santana first.

She watches with a contented smile on her face as Mike and Tina tell Blaine and Mercedes a funny story about something that happened on their way here, and her smile only grows when she hears Puck tell Finn, Sam and Artie about a girl that he met a few says ago. No one has really changed and she likes that, but what she doesn't like is the way that Quinn and Rachel are silently staring at her and she really wishes that they would stop it.

"Are you okay, Britt?" Kurt leans over and whispers into her ear in an attempt to be subtle, but it doesn't really work because nothing ever goes unnoticed by her old friends. "You've been crying." He adds as an afterthought when the blonde doesn't reply straight away.

"I'm fine." Brittany answers as she puts on a brave face and turns to face her friend. "It's just a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

To be honest, Brittany hadn't actually thought about what it would be like once she was reunited with her old friends because it was something she wanted to avoid doing for as long as possible. In the back of her mind, she always knew that the reunion with Santana and the rest of her former glee club members would be emotionally draining, but she didn't think that it would leave her feeling this empty and exhausted inside.

"I understand." Kurt smiles sympathetically as he reaches out and places a comforting hand on her shoulder, it has the opposite effect on Brittany though and instead of making her feel better, it makes her angry because Kurt really doesn't understand. He isn't the one who left one thousand six hundred and sixty three days ago, and because of that he's not the one who feels like a complete outsider. She forces the feelings of anger and rage away though because she knows that she's the only one to blame for this. She was the one who ran away and left everyone behind, it's all her fault and she needs to start taking responsibility for it.

"Mama, I need to pee!" Cassidy suddenly speaks up, sliding off her mother's lap and dropping to the floor, abandoning Cheeky the monkey on the table along with her half eaten cookie.

"We'll some for telling me Cass!" Brittany praises, ruffling her daughter's hair with her free hand as she stands up. "I'm super proud of you!"

Even though Cassidy has been toilet trained for a good while now, she is still prone to accidents and Brittany had a feeling that they were more likely to occur here in Lima because of the unfamiliar setting. She's glad that Cassidy hasn't had an accident because even though she does have a spare change of clothes in her bag (by the time Cassidy was two she quickly realised it was always handy to carry around a spare pair), she knows how embarrassed and upset her daughter gets when they happen and she wants to avoid that.

The first thing that Brittany sees when she walks into the bathroom is Santana standing in front of one of the mirrors doing her best to wipe away the makeup

that has smeared across her face due to crying so much. Bright blue eyes lock with mocha brown ones and in that moment all Brittany want to do is run over and hug her, but that's not her main priority right now so instead she breaks away from the Latina's captivating gaze and leads her daughter into the nearest stall, silently wishing that Santana will have left by the time that they're finished.

It's not that she doesn't want Santana to be there, because she really does, it's just that when they broke apart from their embrace earlier, Santana said that she needed some space and Brittany knows that being in the same room as her with Cassidy isn't giving her that.

Brittany's wish doesn't come true and when she exits the bathroom stall, she notices that Santana has a fresh set of tears running down her cheeks. Once again, she wants to run over and comfort the woman but she's aware that she has Cassidy with her and she's not willing to put the little girl in such an awkward and stressful situation, she's too young for that. Still, she has to let Cassidy wash her hands, so she picks the youngster up and brings her over to the sink next to the one Santana is standing at, and places her on the counter-top next to it before turning the tap on.

"Come on sweetie, wash your hands like a big girl." Brittany instructs once she's made sure that the water is running at the right temperature, but her words fall upon deaf ears as Cassidy isn't listening because she's too busy staring at Santana.

It's as if the youngster is under a spell as she silently shuffles across the counter-top, only stopping when she's in front of Santana, and Santana audibly gasps when she realises what's happening. "Hoe heet je?" She asks the woman in front of her as she reaches out and tentatively places her hand on the Latina's cheek, but she quickly retracts it when Santana flinches away. "What's your name?" She repeats, completely unfazed by the brunette's sudden actions.

Brittany knows that she should step in and stop what's going on because even though she loves the idea of Cassidy and Santana interacting and bonding with each other, she doesn't know if that's what Santana wants and she doesn't want to make her uncomfortable. She takes a step towards the two of them, opening her mouth to say something but before she can, Santana holds up her hand signalling for her to stop all movements, so she does just that.

"Ik heet Santana." Santana replies shakily, her voice cracking as she uses the limited amount of Dutch that she remembers from spending time with Brittany and her family many years ago. "What's your name?"

"Cassidy." The girl replies, biting down on her bottom lip shyly. "S'tana, you is pretty." She adds as she once again reaches out to touch the woman in front of her, and she smiles in both satisfaction and achievement when she doesn't shy away this time.

It's the last statement that makes Santana lose it completely and before she knows it she's crying again, feeling like she's the most helpless and pathetic person in the world right now. This is all too much for her to take in. Brittany is back and they have a daughter called Cassidy that she's never had the chance of meeting, and she just doesn't understand how or why all of this is happening. Speaking of Brittany, Santana looks past Cassidy and through the mirror to see that she too is crying at the scene unfolding in front of her.

"S'tana, why you sad?" Cassidy asks with her voice full of concern when one of the Latina's tears hits her hand. Carefully, the little girl removes her hand from Santana's cheek and instead wraps her arms around the woman, doing her best to hug her. "Mama's hugs make me happy." She states simply when she feels Santana hug her back. However, Santana doesn't know if this is the best thing for her because being this close to her daughter that she's never met before is making her emotions go all over the place.

It takes a good few minutes for Santana to calm down but when she eventually does, she reluctantly pulls away from her daughter and wipes her eyes, chuckling slightly when she sees the state of herself in the mirror. "Thank you Cassidy, you are a fantastic hugger." She sniffs and shoots the child a smile, which causes her to giggle in response.

Once again, she locks eyes with Brittany through the mirror and she's amazed to see that Brittany doesn't look as if she's been crying at all. She doesn't understand how she does it, Brittany's always been good at hiding her emotions which is evidently something that she needs to work on.

"Mama, we go now!" Cassidy's voice breaks the two women out of their trance, and Brittany automatically switches back into her motherly role as she takes the remaining few steps over to the child to help her wash and dry her hands. "S'tana you come too!" She orders once Brittany has set her down on the ground and she plods over to where Santana is still standing, offering out her hand for the woman to take.

Santana opens her mouth to tell Cassidy that she is going to come too, but before she can the bathroom door busts opens and a very angry looking Quinn storms in followed by a terrified looking Rachel. "How the hell could you do this to Santana?" Quinn demands as she comes to a stop right in front of Brittany's face.

Brittany really has no idea what's going on, but she has a feeling that either Kurt has told everyone at the table that Santana is also Cassidy's mother or that Quinn and Rachel have figured it out for themselves. Either way, Brittany is surprised that it has taken them this long to put the pieces together.

"She fucking loved you, and you just got up and left without a warning and then you have the nerve to show up here four years later with that!" She screams as she points an accusing finger at Cassidy who is now whimpering in fear, causing Brittany's motherly instincts to kick in.

She can deal with people hating her and calling her names, but she won't let them do that to her daughter. She's done nothing wrong. None of it is her fault and she shouldn't be blamed for the mistakes that have been made. It's not fair.

"Don't you dare speak about my daughter like that!" Brittany growls, which is a shock to everyone because they've never seen the side to her before. "I don't care what you say about me Quinn, but do not do it in front of my daughter or drag her into this because she has done nothing wrong! I u-"

"Stop acting so innocent!" Quinn scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically as she cuts the other blonde off. "You're nothing more than a stupid, money digging slut!"

Brittany is only half listening to what Quinn is saying because Cassidy's cries are ringing loudly in her ear and she just wants to run over and hold her

daughter close to her. She quickly flicks her eyes away from Quinn's face to look at her daughter who is showing clear signs of distress, and her heart breaks at the sight.

Taking her eyes off Quinn was probably the stupidest thing Brittany could do because before she knows it, she feels Quinn's hand collide with her cheek

causing her to stumble backwards and over her feet, making her fall to the floor and hit her head off it. "You're a fucking selfish bitch!" Quinn screams as she towers over her and for once Brittany is actually afraid of Quinn, but the pain in her head drains her of her strength and energy so instead of fighting back, she feels her eyelids close, too weak to fight against it.

Santana watches from the sidelines as Brittany falls to the ground, completely frozen with shock due to Quinn's sudden outburst. She's always been aware that her best friend has been a little bit crazy, but she never thought she'd do something as crazy as this, especially in front of her daughter. In the back of her mind, Santana knows that Quinn did this to protect her, but instead of feeling a sense of gratitude towards the blonde, she feels herself getting angry. Really fucking angry because Quinn has just slapped Brittany -the mother of her child- in the face.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She roars, her brain finally kicking into action as she marches over to Quinn, only stopping when they're face to face. "Why the hell did you slap her?" Her hands fly to the woman's shoulders and she begins shaking her roughly in an attempt to act intimidating and to get an answer out of her.

However, Quinn seems completely unfazed by the Latina's actions and instead of giving her a verbal answer, she just shakes her head disbelievingly from side to side with a smirk set firmly upon her face. "Don't tell me you're actually sticking up for her, Santana." She chuckles tauntingly. "Kurt told me what she did, she's nothing more than a pathetic little slut."

Santana can't take it anymore. Quinn has no right to talk about Brittany like that because the situation right now doesn't even concern her. She doesn't need to get involved and the fact that she has just makes the brunette even angrier, and before she can even fully comprehend what's going on, she feels the palm of her hand come into contact with Quinn's right cheek.

She hears Quinn yelp in pain, she hears Rachel gasp in shock, but she hears Cassidy whimper in fear and that's what causes her to snap back into reality and actually think about what she has just done.

She has just slapped her best friend in front of her daughter. That is not okay.

"Berry, get your girlfriend out of here now before I do something that I'll seriously regret." Santana snarls, taking a step back from Quinn because even though they're best friends and have been there for each other through thick and thin, Santana is so angry and wound up right now that she wouldn't think twice about turning the blonde's other cheek red too.

Rachel doesn't even try to argue, which in Santana's mind is really fucking surprising, and instead just grabs onto Quinn's waist and drags her away before she can recover from shock and fight back. As soon as the bathroom door closes, Santana spins around to see Cassidy clutching onto her mother's shirt, and that sight alone makes her crumble to her knees.

This is all her fault. She could have stopped all of this. If she had just stood up for Brittany when Quinn first came into the bathroom then Brittany wouldn't be lying on the floor and Cassidy wouldn't have witnessed her mother being slapped by a complete stranger. It's all her fault because she didn't do anything to stop the attack, and she should have because Brittany and Cassidy… well, they're her family now.

Crawling over on her knees, Santana comes to a stop when she reaches Brittany and Cassidy, who is now sobbing into her mother's chest. She wants to just pick her daughter up and cuddle her until she stops crying, but she doesn't think that she can do that because she can see the way that the little girl is staring at her with fear filled eyes, and it breaks Santana's heart.

She's not a monster. Yes, she's mean and can act like a bitch at times, but it doesn't make her a bad person because deep down, Santana does have a heart and she'd never, ever, lift her hands to Brittany or Cassidy. She could never do that because no matter what they've put her through, they are her family and she loves them.

"Cassidy, your mama is going to be okay." Santana states softly in an attempt to calm her daughter down, but it doesn't work and instead makes her cry harder. "Please don't cry." She pleads, beginning to panic because she really doesn't know what to do now. She's never been a parent before. Hell, she's never even looked after a child, and because of that she has no clue about what she's supposed to do.

"Lets take a deep breath and calm down." She instructs, recalling one of the techniques her Mami used to use to get her to calm down when she was younger. "Your mama is going to be okay, so lets be a big girl and stop crying, okay?" She suggests, leaning over and placing her hand on the youngster's back to comfort her.

"No!" The toddler screams, jerking her body out of the way violently in order to dodge the physical contact from the woman. "You is scary!"

The words slice through Santana's heart like knives and subconsciously, she brings her hand up to her chest. If anyone else had called her scary then she would have laughed in their face and agreed with them, but because it's coming from her daughter, it makes her feels as if she's some kind of wild animal who is incapable of staying in control.

The thought of Cassidy being afraid of her, makes Santana's stomach churn. Before today, the thought of having children had never really crossed her mind, but one thing that she knew for certain was that when she had them, they weren't going to be scared of her. She'd never hurt them, and she wishes that Cassidy could understand that.

Santana can feel the tears form in her eyes again and as she furiously blinks them away, she prays that Brittany will wake up at any second so that she can fix all of this. Brittany is the better parent out of the two of them, and the fact that Santana can't even comfort and calm down her own daughter makes her feel like a failure. She really is clueless when it comes to kids.

"Cass, I'm okay." Brittany mumbles weakly as she slowly sits up, cradling Cassidy to her chest and pressing multiple kisses into her hair to calm her down and slowly but surely, it begins to work. "Mama is here sweetie." She hums into her ear. "Mama isn't going to let anyone hurt you, you're safe baby."

Santana watches silently, taking the time to appreciate just how amazing Brittany is at being a mother. She can't understand how the blonde can stay so calm, collected and in control all at the same time, and she really doesn't understand how she got Cassidy to stop crying in a matter of minutes. She swears that Brittany has super powers.

_"Hushabye my little one, mama will sing you to sleep…"_ Brittany singing an unfamiliar song whilst rocking Cassidy back and forth in her arms is what breaks Santana out of her thoughts, and she closes her eyes so that she can listen too and not be distracted by anything because Brittany's voice is beautiful.

_"Hushabye my little one, laying there counting your sheep _

_Time for the sandman to say, dream all you worries away _

_Now that the day is all done, hushabye my little one" _

Santana's chest aches as she listens to Brittany sing the short lullaby over and over again, and she wishes that she could join in with them. She wishes that she knew the song and that Cassidy knew her voice so that when she sung, it would relax her, just like Brittany's voice does. She hates that she doesn't have a connection with her daughter, and it kills her to think that Cassidy has been alive for years and she's had no clue about it.

Brittany is to blame. Santana knows that. Brittany is the one who ran away and never told anyone where she was going. Brittany is the one who never told her that she was pregnant with her child. Brittany is the one who never contacted her when Cassidy was born. It's all Brittany's fault and yet, Santana can't find it within herself to be mad at her and she doesn't know why. She thinks it has something to do with the information not fully sinking in yet, but part of her is already making excuses for Brittany and she's praying that the blonde has a good excuse to why she left and never got back in contact, because honestly, Santana doesn't know what she's going to do if she doesn't.

When Brittany stops singing, with Cassidy still cradled in her arms, she stands up from the bathroom floor being careful not to wake the sleeping child. "A-Are you okay?" Santana breaks the silence between them, being careful to keep her voice low, as she copies Brittany's actions and stands up too.

"I'm fine." Brittany replies sharply, and they both know its a lie. Truthfully, Brittany's head is pounding and her cheek stills feels as if its on fire but she doesn't really care about all of that, she just wants to get Cassidy out of here as soon as possible.

"I'm so sorry, I di-"

"Don't, Santana." Brittany pleads weakly, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence. "I ju- I can't deal with this right now, I just want to get Cassidy back to the hotel."

Santana nods her head understandingly because she too wants to get Cassidy to somewhere safe. "Do you want me to drive you there? I'm staying with my parents whilst visiting so they let me borrow their car." She rambles, playing with her hands nervously because the idea of being alone with Brittany and doing something so simple like driving around Lima makes her stomach tie itself in knots.

"Thanks, but no thanks." The blonde smiles apologetically, making Santana's posture deflate. "You don't have a car seat for Cassidy, it would be really dangerous." She goes on to explain further because Brittany would love Santana to drive her back to the hotel, but she can't put Cassidy in danger like that, it's not right.

"I understand." The Latina sucks in her bottom lip as she rocks back and forth from the balls of her feet to the tips of her toes. "Are you busy tomorrow?"

Brittany shakes her head. "It's the wedding tomorrow, but I'm not going to the party after the reception." She tells her with a sad smile. "Cassidy doesn't do well in large groups of strangers and after what has just happened, I don't think I want to be there."

"D-Do you think that it would maybe be okay if I, erm, came to see Cassidy tomorrow?" Santana asks, keeping her gaze trained on the tiled floor. "I'm supposed to be staying for the party, but I think I'll skip it an-"

"Of course you can, Santana." Brittany interrupts her rambling with a soft smile that she can't see. "You have every right to see Cassidy and I'm not going to stop you, and besides I owe you an explanation."

"You do." Santana agrees with a nod as she locks eyes with the blonde, feeling more confident now that she knows she can see her daughter again.

She really can't wait until tomorrow.

* * *

I like to call this update: Linzi (that's me) was supposed to be revising, but got distracted and finished this early!

Once again, I cannot thank you all enough for the support that this is getting. It is actually insane, but I appreciate every single alert and review it gets so thank you all so much!

I promise, the next update will have Brittany's explanation in it, but I just felt as if this update was necessary before it.

Oh, and thank you to everyone who wished me good luck on my exams, you guys are awesome :)

Also, Puff614, I died and fangirled all at the same time when I saw your review because I absolutely love On The Run. You're so amazing!

Like I said before, I really like hearing your thoughts and opinions about what's going on so please review because it not only motivates me, but it also helps me to see what you guys think of it

Once again, thank you, you're all amazing!


	4. Untold Stories

Brittany thinks that coming to Will and Emma's wedding is an even bigger mistake than bringing Cassidy to Lima Bean unannounced because right now, she can feel everyone's gaze on her and it makes her feel like more of an outsider than she already is. The wedding ceremony has just finished and after congratulating the bride and groom, everyone is spending their time socialising with one another.

She's already congratulated and spoken to Will and Emma and the encounter with them was awkward to say the least as they hadn't expected Brittany's plus one to be a child. However, despite their shock, they acted as if everything was completely normal and Brittany's really thankful for that because having their approval just makes everything a little bit better.

"Blondie, I honestly didn't expect to see you here." Brittany feels herself shudder at the familiar voice and turns her head to the left to see the one and only Sue Sylvester towering over her with a smirk on her face. "I see you got the invitation, it took forever to track you down."

"Sue, I almost didn't recognise you without a track suit on." Brittany comments, glancing at her daughter who is currently sitting on Kurt's knee across from her, paying not attention to what's going on. "My name is Brittany, I'd appreciate it if you started calling me by that."

"Well look who's grown a pair of lady balls." Sue taunts with a chuckle, placing on of her hands on the blonde's shoulder and squeezing it tightly. "Y'know Brittany, I know that a lot of people will disagree with what I'm about to say, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you."

Brittany freezes for a moment as she lets Sue's words sink in, making sure that she heard the other woman correctly because honestly, Brittany thinks that that's one if the nicest things she's heard in a while. "Y-You are?" She stutters out in disbelief, her eyes involuntary widening in shock. No one has ever told her that they're proud of her, not since Cassidy was born anyway. "Why?"

"You got yourself pregnant and then you left this goddamn excuse of a town in order to provide for your child and give them the best life possible." She explains, lowering her voice so that there is no chance that Cassidy will be able to hear her from across the table. "Now, I don't agree with you not telling Sandbags about your little bundle of sunshine since your daughter does belong to her too, and I really don't appreciate you quitting my Cheerios when you were supposed to be repeating your senior year, but everyone makes mistakes and even I understand that."

Brittany is fairly certain that she must be dreaming because she's never heard Sue Sylvester be this nice to someone before, and the fact that she's being nice to her tugs at her heart strings a little bit. "Thanks Sue, it means a lot."

"Don't mention it." The older woman shrugs in a very Sue Sylvester like manner. "You've probably already learned this by now, but whenever you explain to anyone why you're such a young and single parent, they're going to immediately judge you and call you a selfish bitch..." Sue states, getting straight to the point and it makes Brittany flinch as she thinks back to what happened yesterday in the Lima Bean bathroom and she's certain that her old cheerleading coach has picked up on her uneasiness because once again, she feels Sue squeeze her shoulder. "When I came to find you so that I could invite you to this pathetic excuse of a wedding, I saw you with your daughter at the park near your house and I immediately connected all the pieces together. I mean, it wasn't that hard. Your daughter is the double of Santana. At first, I wanted to yank you by the hair all the way back to Lima so that I could slap you silly for being selfish, but then when I saw the two of you playing together and not caring about what anyone else thought, I knew you had done the right thing by leaving."

Brittany doesn't know what to say. She opens her mouth to at least say thank you for the kind things that Sue has said, but nothing at all comes out, so instead she just sits there with her mouth hanging slightly open. She can't even begin to explain how amazing it feels now knowing that someone is proud of her because it's something that -even before Cassidy was born- barely anyone ever told her, and it's refreshing to hear someone say it.

"So, here is a little bit of advice for you; Your old glee club friends are no different from anyone else, I've heard them talk about you and I know that most of them think that what you've done is selfish, but you don't need to take any notice of that because it's not about them, it's about you and Sandbags. Not telling her about her daughter was a stupid move, but now you need to prove to everyone that you did it for a reason and that you are fantastic mother because both you and I know that it's true."

Silence fills the air as Sue walks away and part of Brittany wants to follow her so that she can hug her and thank her for her support, but she goes against the idea of doing so because hugging Sue Sylvester would be really awkward since she's incapable of human emotion. Brittany remembers her even saying so herself.

"She's right you know." Kurt's voice interrupts her from her thoughts and she turns to look at him. "When you left Lima Bean yesterday, she left just after you, but everyone stayed and obviously talked about it. I thi-"

"Kurt, not when Cassidy is here." She cuts him off with a pleading look because even though she'd love to know what everyone has been saying about her, she'd rather Kurt not tell her in front of Cassidy because she wants to keep her out of it all. "I'll call you tonight and we can talk about it then."

"Sorry." Kurt shoots her a sympathetic smile and Brittany simply shrugs in response because she knows that he hasn't done anything wrong, in fact he's the only one that's talking to her (hence the reason they're sitting at a table on their own) so she doesn't exactly want to give him a reason to hate her too. "When are you leaving here?"

"I don't know." Brittany answers as she takes a sip of her glass of water. Despite being asked by Will and Emma to stay for the after party, Brittany doesn't want to because she doesn't want to keep Cassidy in an environment where people are drinking and getting drunk, so for that reason she knows that she should be leaving soon before it's too late. "Probably in the next five minutes or so."

"Is Santana going with you?" He questions, lowering his voice and covering Cassidy's ears when he mentions Santana because he doesn't know if he's allowed to mention her in front of the little girl on his lap due to the events that took place yesterday.

"She's supposed to be." The blonde replies, glancing over to the table where the rest of her old friends are sitting to find them all joking and laughing with one another. She has to admit, she's a bit jealous that she can't join in with them but more than that, she feels incredibly guilty that Kurt can't go over there and join in with them as he's too busy keeping her company. "I should probably warn her that I'm leaving soon. Do you mind looking after Cass for

a few minutes so I can go and tell her?"

"Of course, on you go."

"Cassidy, Mama will be back in a minute." Brittany turns her attention to her daughter who is looking at her curiously with her head tilted slightly to the side. "I need to go and speak to Santana, okay?"

"Okay Mama." Cassidy nods and Brittany lets out a breath of relief for two reasons. The first one being that she didn't freak out or panic when she mentioned Santana's name, and the second reason being that she doesn't mind being alone with Kurt.

The walk over to Santana's table feels like an eternity to Brittany and before she even gets there, she feels everyone's eyes on her. However, she does her best to act as if she's unfazed by them all and keeps her head held high with her gaze locked on Santana, doing her best to ignore her heart pounding in her chest and the butterflies in her stomach. She hates that she gets this nervous when she's going to talk to Santana because she rarely gets nervous and it really annoys her that one person can make her feel like this.

"Cassidy and I are leaving in five minutes." She states once she comes to a stop in front of Santana. "Are you still joining us?"

"Y-Yeah, I, erm, I-I'm coming." Santana stutters out, momentarily losing focus to what's going on as her eyes rake over the blonde's body, taking in every curve that's been defined through her light blue dress. Brittany's body looks just as amazing as she remembers and she can't understand how the woman in front of her has carried and cared for her child whilst keeping her body in that shape, she wants to ask her how, but she doesn't think that right now is appropriate so instead she shakes the thoughts out of her head. "Let me just get my stuff and then we can go, yeah?"

"Sure." Brittany turns to leave so that she can go and collect Cassidy and her bag, however before she can take a step forward, she feels something collide with her leg and when she looks down she finds her daughter grinning up at her. "Cass, what are you doing?" She chuckles as she reaches down and lifts the child up, securing her to her hip and brushing the dark brown curls out of the toddler's eyes.

"I come and see you!" The youngster replies with a smile, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. "Me and Cheeky missed you."

"You and Cheeky missed me, huh?" She repeats, pressing a kiss into the head of hair in front of her. "Where is Cheeky and Kurt?" Her question is answered when she looks across the room to find Kurt running over to them, with her bag and Cheeky the monkey in his hands and she can't help but laugh at the look of distress that's on his face as he comes to a stop in front of them.

"I'm sorry, Britt." He pants, handing over the monkey and bag to the blonde. "She just jumped off my lap and ran over here."

"Don't worry about it, she does it a lot back home." She dismisses his apology with a wave of her hand before tuning her attention back to her daughter. "Cassidy, you're a big girl for coming to find Mama on your own, but you do not go anywhere without me or Kurt, okay?"

"Okay Mama." Cassidy nods, taking in everything her mother is saying. "Ik hou van je!"

"I love you too, baby." She nuzzles her face into her daughter's hair, pressing a kiss into once again as she subconciously tightens the hold on her. She's aware that all eyes are on her, but right now she doesn't care because it's at moments like this that she remembers that leaving Lima was the right choice for her and Cassidy, no matter what anyone else says.

Five minutes later, after everyone has said their goodbyes, Brittany finds herself following Santana out of Will and Emma's wedding venue and into the parking lot and she has to admit, she's confused to why they're here as she's already pointed out to Santana that there's no way she'll put Cassidy in a car without a car seat.

"Don't worry, I bought a car seat last night." Santana speaks up before Brittany can even open her mouth to say something, and it shocks Brittany because despite them being apart for so long, Santana can still tell what she's thinking and she doesn't know whether or not this is a good thing now that they aren't together.

Not knowing what to say, the blonde keeps her mouth shut and continues to follow the Latina, only stopping when they reach her car. Wordlessly, she secures Cassidy in the back seat of the car, making sure that she's completely settled in the car seat with Cheeky, before sitting herself in the passenger seat beside Santana, who starts the car once she's made sure that everyone is strapped in safely.

The drive is completely silent and Brittany sort of wishes that she could reach over and turn the radio on (like she used to go when they drove together), but she decides against that idea because she knows for a fact that it Santana wanted music on, then she would have turned the radio on herself. She also knows that she should probably ask the brunette where they're going, but she shoots down this idea too because Santana will talk when she's ready to talk, she just has to be patient.

It's seven minutes into the drive when Santana finally opens her mouth, and her words take Brittany completely by surprise because she totally wasn't expecting them. "I told my parents." Santana announces, her eyes not leaving the road despite the car not moving due to it being stuck at the red light. "They told your parents, and all four of them are currently at my house waiting for us."

Brittany doesn't know how to feel. She can understand why Santana would tell her parents since she's staying with them, but she just can't wrap her head around the fact that her parents now know too.

There's a reason that they don't know, and that reason is that whilst growing up, they were never around and Brittany was never close with them, and the blonde kind of resented them for that. Sure, she could understand that their jobs were demanding, but she hated not having her parents there when she needed them. Plus, they also never approved of her relationship with Santana (even though they insisted that they did) and that annoyed her more than anything. So, for all of those reasons, Brittany never felt as if she had to tell her parents.

However, Maribel and Carlos Lopez were a completely different story all together. During her high school years when she first met Santana, the pair of them acted as her parents and she couldn't be more grateful. No matter what the problem was, Maribel and Carlos were always there to help her out, and they became so close that they changed one of their three guest bedrooms into a bedroom for her. Although, when she did stay over, she'd always sneak into Santana's room. When she found out she was pregnant, she wanted to tell Maribel and Carlos because she was so scared and wanted their advice since they were both doctors, but she didn't want to disappoint them by telling them that they were going to be grandparents at such an early age. So, for that reason, she never told them.

Brittany wants to be angry at Santana for telling their parents, but she can't find it within herself to do so because deep down she knows that she deserves this. It wasn't fair to keep Cassidy away from her other mother and grandparents for almost four years and now she must face the consequences for it.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to..." Santana trails off, her raspy voice snapping Brittany out of her train of thought. "I mean, they will want to meet her eventually, but if you don't think Cassidy is ready for it then they'll understand."

At the mention of her daughter's name, Brittany looks back over her shoulder to find Cassidy fast asleep, however it doesn't surprise her because she always falls asleep during car journeys. "No, we can go." She decides, knowing its the right thing to do even though she's dreading the reunion. "If they do or say anything to insult Cassidy, we'll be leaving." She adds as a warning because after yesterday, she's not taking any chances with anyone when her daughter is involved.

The rest of the ride is silent and ten minutes later, Brittany finds herself staring up at the Lopez household, remembering all the good memories that she once shared there. She looks up the driveway to see two other cars parked there and she automatically groans at the sight of her parent's silver Land Rover because she was hoping that they'd show up late, like they always used to do.

Sliding out of the car, Brittany grabs her bag and then makes her way over to Cassidy's side of the car. The little girl is awake now which makes the transition from inside the car to outside a whole lot easier, and if Cassidy didn't look so groggy, she'd make her walk. However, Brittany can tell just by the way that the toddler is sitting that if she even suggests the idea of walking then she'll throw a tantrum so instead, she gently lifts her out of the car seat and makes sure that she has Cheeky the monkey with them, before bumping the car door shut with her hip.

She looks up to see Santana watching her with an amused expression on her face, but behind the Latina, she notices Mr and Mrs Lopez standing in the doorway alongside her parents, all four sets of eyes trained on her, and she hates to admit it but its a little bit intimidating. She shakes the feeling away as she follows Santana to the entrance and rather than dwell on the fact that's she's really fucking terrified of what they're going to say, the blonde focuses on what she's going to say because honestly doesn't know how she's going to explain all of this.

By the time they've reached the top step to the house, the four adults have made their way back inside, which eases Brittany's nervousness a tiny bit as it means that the introductions have been postponed for a few minutes. "Mama, where are we?" Cassidy yawns, her eyes growing wide at the house in front of her as its the biggest she's ever seen.

"We're at Santana's house." She replies, hoping that her daughter doesn't ask any more questions because right now isn't the best of times for her. Luckily, the youngster seems content with the answer and rests her head back on her mother's shoulder as she's carried inside.

The Lopez household hasn't changed at all, Brittany notes as she follows Santana through the hallway. It all feels so weird to her because one thousand six hundred and sixty four days ago, she walked through this very house to say goodbye to Santana. Her attention turns to the woman in front of her and she takes this time to admire her as she didn't have the opportunity to do so at the wedding due to the fact that Quinn was constantly glaring at her and watching her every move. Even from behind, Santana looks beautiful in her red dress and Brittany has to admit, she's a little jealous of Santana's body because it's perfect, whereas, in her opinion, her body is disgusting.

When they reach the front room, the first thing that Brittany notices is the mountain of brand new toys that are lying in the middle of the floor and this makes her slightly annoyed. It's not that she minds Santana and Mr and Mrs Lopez buying toys for Cassidy, in fact she appreciates it, but she has a problem with her parents doing it because it's exactly what they used to do with her whenever they came back from a business trip. They're only doing it because they feel guilty.

Susan Pierce is the first one to make a move and she crosses the room, opening her arms wide as she does so, but before she can envelop her daughter and granddaughter in a hug, Brittany puts her hand up as a signal for her to stop what she's doing. It's not that she doesn't want to see her mother because despite not particularly getting along with her, Brittany has missed her. She just needs some space right now because she really has no idea what to do.

It's like Santana is reading her mind once again because Brittany feels the Latina gently hold her by the elbow and guide her over to the couch, motioning for her to sit down and Brittany is grateful for the help because without it, she doesn't know how long she'd be standing like an idiot in the doorway for. Once she's seated, the blonde tries to get Cassidy to sit on her lap and face the four adults on the couch opposite them, but just like in the coffee shop, the little girl has other ideas and instead cuddles into Brittany's chest, hiding herself.

"Is she okay?" Santana asks, noticing just how nervous both of the girls are as she takes a seat next to them. "Do you need me to get her anything?"

"N-No, she's good." Brittany answers, shaking her head ever so slightly as she tightens the hold on her daughter. "She's just tired and a little bit shy, she'll be fine in a minute."

Santana finds it really hard to believe that a child who has been raised by Brittany Pierce could be nervous and shy, but she decides not to question it since Brittany is the expert here. Instead, she looks around the room to see her mother and Susan with tears in their eyes whilst her father and James Pierce look as if they have just seen a ghost. Their reactions are completely understandable and relatable though because when she first saw Brittany and Cassidy, Santana's expression mirrored her father's and then not long after that she cried just like her mother was doing now.

"Mama, I feel your heart beating." Cassidy whispers but because the room is completely silent, except from the ticking noise coming from the clock hanging on the wall, everyone hears and turns all of their attention to the youngster who has now placed her hand over her mother's chest. "Why's it do that?"

"It's doing that to show how much I love you!" She replies, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Your heart keeps your body happy and healthy, and if you try hard enough, you can feel anyone's."

"Oh…" Cassidy furrows her eyebrows together in deep thought before placing her hand over her own chest. "I feel mine too!" She grins widely in amazement before turning her head to look at Santana. "S'tana can you fell yours too?" She questions, not giving the Latina a chance to respond as she reaches over and places her hand on the woman's chest. "I feel it!"

At first, Santana is in complete shock because yesterday Cassidy was terrified of her, but today she's acting as if she doesn't remember any of it. She's not going to complain or ask about it though because truth be told, she's just relieved that her daughter isn't looking at her like she's some kind of monster. "I feel it too, Sweetie." She smiles warmly at the girl as she places her hand on top of hers, squeezing it softly. "You're very clever, Cassidy."

Growing shy at the compliment, the toddler turns back to look at Brittany and in the process of doing so, she catches a glimpse of the four adults sitting across the room from them. "Mama, why is we here?"

"We're here because Mama needs to talk to Santana about something important." She explains in the least complicated way possible. "Would you like to take a nap or play? If you would like to play, you have to ask Santana nicely if you can play with some of the toys in her house."

The youngster hums an purses her lips together, taking her time to decide and it causes all the six adults in the room to laugh because its one of the most adorable sights ever. "S'tana can I draw a picture please?" She asks, finally coming to a decision.

"Of course you can." The brunette nods hesitantly because she can't really believe that out of all the new toys she, her parents and the Pierces bought, all she wants to do is draw a picture. "My friend James and my papa, Carlos are very good at drawing and I'm pretty sure that if we ask them nicely then they'll draw pictures too."

Brittany is glad that Santana thought of a way to include and introduce Cassidy to their parents because she really had no idea how to do it, so she watches as her daughter clambers off her knee and plods across the room, introducing herself to Carlos and James, and she has to blink back the tears when she sees Carlos sit Cassidy on his knee for the first time because she feels extremely guilty for depriving them all from this. She feels like such a bitch and she hates herself for it.

Santana finds some pencils and paper for them to play with and a few minutes later, Cassidy, Carlos and James are all sitting at the dining room table drawing pictures whilst Susan and Maribel prepare a snack to eat in the kitchen, and Brittany and Santana sit in the front room in complete silence. It's not an awkward silence, it's more of a peaceful one which gives each of them some time to think. However, this isn't a good thing for the blonde because instead of thinking, she's panicking.

She doesn't know what's going to happen next and she hates that because not only does that make herself vulnerable, it also makes her daughter vulnerable too and she doesn't like that at all.

"I told our parents not to introduce themselves to Cassidy as her grandparents." Santana reveals, playing with her hands nervously. "I didn't think that you'd be happy if they did."

Santana is right. Brittany knows that she wouldn't of been happy if their parents had introduced themselves as Cassidy's grandparents because she knows that there is no way that her little girl would be able to handle that information. She still doesn't know how or when she's going to break the news to her daughter and tell her that Santana is her other mother and that her parents and Mr and Mrs Lopez are her grandparents, but she knows that she needs more time and it's not something that's going to happen straight away.

"I'm sorry." Brittany says, snapping herself out of her own thoughts and completely disregarding what Santana has just said because even though she's grateful for what the brunette has done, the guilt that she's been carrying around with her ever since she left Lima is eating at her insides and it makes her want to throw up. "I shouldn't have kept this a secret from you or our parents, and I shouldn't have ran away. It was a stupid mistake and I know that it doesn't change anything, but I am so sorry."

Santana opens her mouth to speaking but closes it again when she realises that she doesn't know what to say because honestly, Brittany's words have taken her completely off guard. She didn't really know what to expect from her talk with the blonde, but she wasn't expecting her to apologise straight away. She opens her mouth to speak again, but like last time nothing comes out. She has so many questions she wants answer to, but she doesn't know where to start.

"It was the twenty ninth of May when I found out that I was pregnant. My period was two weeks late so I took three tests so that I would be able to rule out the possibility of being pregnant, but when they came back positive, it was like reality finally came an slapped me in the face." Brittany states as she settles her gaze on the door leading to the dining room, keeping an eye out for her daughter. "I wasn't graduating that year and you were supposed to be leaving for New York with Rachel and Kurt at the end of the summer, and I knew that me being pregnant would stop that from happening. I wa-"

"How can you say that you being pregnant would stop that?" The Latina interjects angrily, finally finding her voice. "You never even told me that you were carrying my child, so you can't just assume that!" She's trying to get a rise out of Brittany and make her feel bad for what she's done, but instead of biting back the blonde simply roles her eyes and shoots her a look, and Santana knows it's the 'you've got to be fucking kidding me' look, because both women know that if Santana had known of the pregnancy then she would of never of gone to New York.

"Are you going to let me finish?" Brittany challenges with a raised eyebrow, to which Santana nods her head in response despite knowing that it's a rhetorical question. "I was terrified at the thought of being pregnant because I was so young, but the thought of having an abortion never crossed my mind. However, I learned first hand from Quinn that being pregnant whilst attending McKinley High School wasn't exactly the best idea and that's what prompted me into thinking about moving.

I'm not going to lie to you, I had every intention of telling you about being pregnant and moving out of Lima, but it was on the thirtieth of May when we were at Puck's party and you were talking to everyone about how excited you were to be going to New York and studying there, that I knew that I couldn't ruin that opportunity for you. I thought that it wouldn't be fair to make you change your future just because I was pregnant and I'd have to make some sacrifices myself."

Brittany pauses for a moment as she inhales and exhales deeply, letting her words sink in. She wants to go into so much more detail when explaining this all to Santana, but she can't bring herself to do so because she's already finding it extremely difficult to talk briefly about her past and she's certain that if she explains it in any more depth, she'll break down into tears.

"My parents were away on a business trip in Florida when all of this was going on and as far as they were concerned, I was supposed to be graduating and going to New York with you. They had been so excited for me to go to New York that they'd already transferred enough money over to my bank account so that I'd be able to buy a plane ticket and pay for my deposit and first months rent on an apartment." She continues, swallowing the lump that's lodged itself in her throat. "I don't know what I was thinking when I came home from Puck's party that evening and ordered one plane ticket to New York for the first of June, the only thing I was sure of was that I had to get out of Lima without anyone knowing and that was the only way I could think of.

I chose to move to New York because I thought that if you still moved there with Kurt and Rachel at the end of the summer, then I'd be able to contact you once we were both settled in, and I'd be able to explain the whole situation to you. I realise now that it was a stupid idea, but back then I was so scared and I ju-"

"Wait…" Santana interrupts as holds up her hand, signalling for Brittany to stop talking. "You found out that you were pregnant, left Lima without telling anyone, and moved to New York in hope that I'd move out there too so that you could tell me about our baby once you were settled in?" She asks, making sure that she's understanding the blonde correctly.

Brittany simply nods her head in reply, cringing at how stupid her plan sounds. She's known for a while now that it was possibly the stupidest thing she could have ever of done, and each time she thinks about it, she hates herself a little bit more for going through with it.

"You said you wanted to get in touch with me after you had settled in." Santana states, licking her lips nervously, not really knowing if she wants to hear the answer to the question she's about to ask. "Why didn't you?"

"What does the fourteenth of March, two thousand and thirteen mean to you?" Brittany suddenly questions, not giving a direct answer to the question that she was supposed to be answering. "What does it mean, Santana?" She asks again when the Latina doesn't give her an answer straightaway. "Tell me why that day is so special to you!"

Santana hesitates for a moment because she doesn't want to hurt Brittany with her revelation, but by the way the blonde is talking and acting, she gets the impression that she already knows about it but she doesn't understand how that could even be possible. "I-It was the day I officially started dating Jessica." She admits in one breath, screwing her eyes closed so that she won't have to see the blonde's reaction.

"It was also the day that your daughter was born." Brittany reveals, the hurt clear in her voice and Santana opens her eyes just in time to see her walk out the room, leaving her all alone.

* * *

Sorry for the wait, it took longer to write because I had school and I didn't want to rush it.

I've split it up into two parts, the next will focus on Brittany talking to Santana, again, and the their parents. It will also go into more depth about Brittany leaving and such.

Thank you for all the reviews and alerts, it really means a lot and I love hearing your thoughts and opinions, so please keep on reviewing!

Oh, and happy valentines day! :)


	5. Family

Brittany exhales deeply as she stands in the doorway of the dining room, watching as Cassidy spends some quality time with Carlos and her father, completely oblivious to her presence. The little girl has her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth and her eyebrows scrunched together, her face showing a clear sign of concentration, and Brittany can't help but quickly grab her phone and snap a picture of it.

"Mama!" Cassidy exclaims when she finally notices her mother standing in the doorway. "Come and play with me!"

Brittany loves to play with her daughter because not only does it allow them to spend more time with each other, but it also allows her to forget about all of her problems for a little while and right now that's exactly what she needs. She doesn't hesitate in crossing the room and taking a sear next to her daughter because she wants to try and forget about everything that is currently on her mind.

As soon as Brittany is seated, Cassidy clambers onto her lap and gets herself comfortable before continuing with her drawing. The blonde peers over her daughter's head to look at the picture that is currently been drawn and smiles when she realises what it is. "You're doing so well, baby." She praises, pressing a kiss into the brown head of hair in front of her. "I'm super proud of you!"

Chancing a glance up at the two men in front of her, Brittany finds both her father and Carlos staring at her and it causes her heart rate to increase. She has so much explaining to do to the both of them and she doesn't know where to start. Everything has happened so suddenly and she wishes that she could have at least had some time to prepare what she was going to say. She wasn't even planning on visiting her parents during this visit.

Brittany closes her eyes in an attempt to escape from everything and takes a moment to appreciate the near silence that surrounds her. She's exhausted, and the sound of Cassidy humming to herself and the sound of crayons scratching across paper is oddly comforting. It makes her want to fall asleep. Her eyelids are heavy and she can feel herself slowly begin to drift away, but she knows that she can't, so she somehow manages to stop herself from doing so.

Someone else enters the room and despite her eyes being closed, Brittany can immediately tell that the someone is her mother just by the sound that her heels make against the wooden floor as she crosses it. She'd recognise the sound anywhere because, for as long as she can remember, her mother has always worn heels and she can't actually recall a time where the older blonde has worn any other kind of shoe.

She's about to open her mouth to acknowledge her mother's presence, but before she can Cassidy begins to speak. "S'tana!" The youngster gasps. "You play too!"

Brittany guesses that Santana must have entered the room as well, and her suspicions are confirmed when the Latina's familiar vanilla scent begins to invade her thoughts and mind in a result of Santana taking a seat right next to her. Having the brunette so close makes Brittany feel uneasy and she desperately wishes that the ground would just swallow her up. With every second she spends at the Lopez household, the guiltier she becomes and she swears that she can feel it eating her from the inside.

"S'tana, you draw too!" The youngster instructs, holding out a red crayon for her to take. "You draw with me."

Santana stares at the crayon and then at Cassidy and then back at the crayon, not knowing what to do. She's never played with a child before and that makes her nervous because she feels as if she's going to get judged by those around her. However, when she sees the sparkle in her daughter's eyes, her uneasiness slowly begins to disappear. "Thank you." Santana smiles as she takes the crayon from Cassidy. "Red is my favourite."

"Red is Mama's favourite and green is mine." Cassidy tells her as she turns her attention back to the paper in front of her. "You and Mama is the same."

Brittany listens to the conversation for a little while longer with her eyes closed, but when she hears Santana gasp, she forces them open and turns to look at the woman.

"She's left h-handed." Santana answers the unasked question, her voice cracking slightly. "Just like me."

All the blonde can do is nod her head in response because her mouth has suddenly gone dry and it's as if she's forgotten how to speak. Santana shouldn't just be finding out that Cassidy is left handed and Brittany knows that it's all her fault, she hates herself for it.

Brittany sees the unshed tears in Santana's eyes and all she wants to do is apologise to the brunette for everything, but she knows that apologising is not enough. She can't do anything to let Santana experience the first three and a half years of Cassidy's life, but if she could go back in time to change that, then she would have never of left Lima without Santana. It's her biggest regret.

"Mama I finished!" Cassidy declares, breaking the tension-filled silence between the adults in the room, and Brittany reluctantly casts her gaze away from Santana and down to the picture on the table.

"That is Kitty-Kat." She announces, pointing to the first figure on the page that has blonde hair and hazel eyes. "That is Cassidy." She points to the small figure in the middle that has dark brown hair and brown eyes. "That is Mama." She finishes, pointing to the tallest figure with blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

"That is very pretty, baby!" Brittany compliments enthusiastically, causing her daughter to giggle. "I'm sure Sugar will love to see it too!" Brittany is aware that they're receiving a few curious stares from around the table, but she does her best to ignore it, deciding that she'll explain everything when Cassidy isn't listening in.

"I miss Sugar!" The toddler suddenly pouts, turning around in her mother's lap in order to face her. "I wanna see Sugar and Mar-Mar and Kitty-Kat!"

Brittany studies her daughter's face carefully; she's pouting and has her eyebrows drawn together and the blonde can tell that there are the signs of a tantrum surfacing. "I miss Kitty-Kat, Mar-Mar and Sugar too, but we can't see them until the airplane takes us back home." She explains softly, hoping to defuse the situation before it erupts. "We can call Sugar on Mama's phone later and we can tell her all about your drawing, okay?"

"Okay." Cassidy eventually agrees after a moment of thought. "I love you Mama." She squeals, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck and Brittany returns it by wrapping her arms around the small body in front of her.

"I love you too Sweetie."

Before anything else can be said, Maribel enters the room carrying a tray full of food, which immediately makes Brittany's motherly instincts kick in. As soon as the tray is placed down on the table, she eyes the food suspiciously and keeps her hold on her daughter, preventing her from reaching out and grabbing anything. She can feel Cassidy struggling against her and she can hear Maribel telling them all to dig in, and that's when she sees it.

There are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

They used to be her favourite, which is why Maribel probably made them, but she quickly forgets about the thoughtful gesture as she jumps up from her seat and protectively clutches Cassidy to her chest. She knows that she's slightly overreacting but she can't help it. She can't knowingly have her daughter sitting near something that is harmful towards her. She can't do it.

Santana picks up on the blonde's uneasiness straight away and she stands up too, placing a comforting hand on the small of her back. "Brittany, what's wrong?" She questions but it's as if her words are falling upon deaf ears because she gets no response. "Brittany?" She tries again, but this time she follows Brittany's line of sight and her eyes lock on to the plate of sandwiches, and everything clicks into place.

Without bothering to inform the other four adults about what's going on, Santana guides Brittany out of the dining room and into the front room. Once they're in there and seated on the couch, the blonde finally let's go of Cassidy who automatically turns to face her, her eyes wide with concern.

"Mama, is you sad again?" She asks innocently, noticing a tear escape out from the pair of blue eyes in front of her. "Don't cry Mama, you has to be happy."

"I'm not sad, baby." Brittany sniffs as she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. "Mama is just being a little bit silly."

"Hmm…" Cassidy hums in deep thought for a second before suddenly wrapping her arms around her mother's neck and sloppily kissing her cheek. "Hugs and kisses make you feel better." She states as if it's one of the most obvious things in the world. "That's what Kitty-Kat says after you go and see the lady."

Santana watches the interaction between the two from the couch opposite them. The phrases 'sad again' and 'after you go and see the lady' ring in her ears, and she has to admit, they've confused her. She has no idea what's going on, but she's worried about Brittany and wants to know what Cassidy means by them. However, she knows that it's none of her business anymore since she's no longer with Brittany, so for that reason she remains silent. She's not supposed to be caring for the blonde.

The Latina forces the thoughts out of her mind and looks back over across the room to find the blonde with her eyes closed and Cassidy still sitting in her lap. "Mama gots no sleep." Cassidy answers the unasked question before carefully manoeuvring herself to the ground and plodding over to Santana. "You play with me." She instructs, grabbing the tan hand and giving it a tug. "Mama has nap."

* * *

Santana has to admit, she's glad that Brittany has fallen asleep because it means that she can spend some quality time with her daughter.

Daughter.

She still can't believe that Cassidy is her daughter and is now in her life. It's all just so surreal and the information hasn't fully sunk in yet, and if Cassidy didn't look exactly like she did at the age of three then she probably wouldn't believe that the little girl was hers. Up until a few days ago, the idea of having a child had never crossed her mind because she thought that it wasn't something she would have to worry about for a few more years. However, now that she's faced with the fact that she has a child and has missed nearly four years of her life, she honestly doesn't know how to feel about it.

She knows that she should be angry at Brittany since she was the one who left, which resulted in her being unaware of Cassidy's existence for more than three and a half years, but she can't find it within herself to do so.

Well, that's not entirely true because as the information slowly sinks in, the angrier Santana becomes with the blonde and she doesn't think it will be long now until the two of them do the inevitable and have an argument. Part of her wants to thank Brittany though because she was the one who carried Cassidy for nine months and then cared for her afterwards, and in Santana's eyes that is something truly admirable. Even though she would have had to have done it alone if she hadn't of run away.

"S'tana!" Cassidy's voice snaps the Latina out of her thoughts and she looks down to see the youngster grinning up at her, her dimples on show. "Tell me a story please?"

Santana is a little taken aback by the request because she's never read a child a story and she doesn't know if she'll be any good at it , but before she can even give an answer, Cassidy climbs onto her lap and shifts about to get comfortable.

At first she completely freezes, but for two different reasons. The first one is because she can't believe that her daughter that she has never held before is now sitting on her lap, and the second one is because she's worried that Cassidy will notice her extra appendage down below. She knows that this is extremely unlikely due to the fact that Cassidy isn't even four years old yet, but she can't help but feel self conscious about it.

"What story would you like me to tell you?" She asks the child just as her parents and the Pierce's enter the room, all taking a seat on the two couches in the room.

"The one my Mama tells me." Cassidy replies and despite knowing that it wasn't a personal attack against her, the statement hurts Santana because she doesn't know what story that is, and she feels as if she should know it because she is Cassidy's other mother.

"I-I don't know what one that is." Santana admits apologetically. "I can tell you another one?"

"I want the one Mama tells me!" The toddler pouts and moves so that she can crawl off the woman's lap but before she can, Santana wraps her arms around the tiny waist, preventing her from doing so.

"Why don't you tell me a story about where you and Mama live?" The Latina suggest in a desperate attempt to keep her daughter close to her for a little while longer. "I bet you're really good at telling stories."

"Me and Mama live in New York." Cassidy states after taking a few seconds to think. "It has a big, big, big statue." She adds, opening her arms wide to emphasise her point.

Santana's heart skips a beat at the confirmed news that Brittany and Cassidy live in New York because she does too. She knows that even though New York is a big place and there's a chance that they could live hours away from each other, it will make things easier for her to build a relationship with her daughter.

"That's right, it does have a very big statue." The brunette nods her head in agreement. "Do you and Mama live in a house?"

"Yes, and Sugar too!"

Santana frowns at the new information because this is the second time that she's heard her daughter talk about someone called 'Sugar' and she still doesn't know who it is. She has her suspicions that Sugar could possibly be Brittany's girlfriend, but that thought alone makes her stomach churn and she tries her best to push it out of her mind. The idea of Brittany having another girlfriend that isn't her doesn't settle well with Santana and she silently prays that this Sugar girl hasn't captured the blonde's heart because it just doesn't seem right. It's not fair.

"Mama loves Sugar." Cassidy continues, completely oblivious to the awkward tension that is slowly but surely filling the room. "Sugar loves me and Mama. Sugar buys me presents."

Santana feels her throat dry up at the statement and when she opens her mouth to speak, she can't seem to make any sound whatsoever. Whoever this 'Sugar' girl is loves Brittany and Cassidy, to the point that she buys them presents and that's not okay with Santana. She should be the one loving and giving them presents. They are her family.

"Do you have a daddy?" Mrs Pierce questions and even though Santana is thankful for the older woman filling in the silence, the question makes her a little bit uncomfortable. She doesn't know if she particularly wants to hear the answer to it.

The question makes Cassidy laugh and she indicates that the answer is no by shaking her head from side to side. "Mama says I is special." She tells them, pointing to herself for emphasis. "She says I gots a Mama and a Mami."

Santana is fairly certain that she can feel her heart breaking as she listens to her daughter say 'Mami' for the first time because it's such a bittersweet moment. It pains her knowing that Cassidy is aware of her existence, but doesn't know who she is. It's so overwhelming. "That makes you very special." Santana whispers and for the first time since meeting her daughter, she places a kiss on the top of her head.

* * *

When Brittany wakes up, the first thing she notices is that she is not alone. Sitting on the opposite couch from her is her parents, both with a cup of coffee in their hands. "Hey." She yawns, wiping her eyes with her hands and sitting up straighter on the couch. "How are you?"

"How much do you need?" Susan suddenly asks, ignoring her daughter's question and getting straight to the point. "The sooner you tell us, the sooner we can have it transferred into your account."

"W-What are you talking about?" Brittany frowns in confusion, not understanding what her parents are going on about. "Why would you think that I need anything?"

"You need money." James deadpans, rolling his eyes. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Brittany doesn't think that she's ever felt more insulted in her life. She cannot believe that her parents are assuming that she needs money, because that is not the case. Her current financial status isn't the greatest, but it's manageable and that's all that matters. She's proud of being able to provide for Cassidy and herself, and the accusations that she is unable to make her extremely angry.

"I don't need your money." She replies, the hurt clear in her voice. "Cass and I are doing fine on our own." She adds, glancing towards the doorway to make sure the toddler isn't listening in.

"You're doing fine?" Her mother challenges, raising her eyebrows. "You left here without graduating high school. What do you work as, Brittany?"

It doesn't surprise Brittany that her parents have brought up her job because they've always been work orientated. Her mother is right, finding a job without graduating high school was hard, but luckily she met a great group of people who were able to help her out. She doesn't like where the conversation is going though because she knows exactly how it's going to end. She's going to tell her parents what she works as and they're going to disapprove of it.

"Throughout the week I work from home, I write the advice column for a very successful magazine called 'Motta Magazine'." Brittany tells them confidently, proud of her own achievement. "On the weekend, I teach dance classes that Cassidy also attends, and I also go to college in the evenings so that I can progress in my work."

It's a lot for a single parent to handle, Brittany is fully aware of that, but she somehow manages to make it work. She has a lot of help from her friends back in New York and she's extremely grateful for that because she knows that without them, she wouldn't have been able to do it all.

"Do you not think that a more stable job that requires more skill would be better?" Susan speaks after a moment of thought. "When you were born, your father and I were both managers at the companies we worked for."

Brittany rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything because she knows that her mother is being unreasonable. Her parents had planned her birth, and were also a lot older than she was when she fell pregnant with Cassidy, so the comparison is unfair. "My financial situation is bearable." Brittany announces through gritted teeth. "I don't need money, that's not why we came here."

"Brittany, we ju-"

"No." Brittany interrupts, holding her hand up to stop her mother from speaking. "I'm extremely grateful for you wanting to help Cassidy and I, but that's not the reason why we came here. I came here because I knew that it wasn't fair to keep Cassidy away from her family any longer. I have no problem with the both of you being a part of our lives, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't just our lifestyle."

When the blonde is met by nothing but silence she slowly stands up, smoothing her dress down as she does so. "It's getting late and I need to get Cassidy back to the hotel, but I promise that I'll be in touch with the two of you before I leave." With that, she exits the room in search for her daughter and Santana.

* * *

Brittany can't sleep. She's lying in bed beside Cassidy, but she can't seem to relax. Santana drove them back to the hotel twenty minutes ago and as soon as she tucked Cassidy into bed, Brittany changed into a pair of pyjamas and slipped in beside her. However, her body isn't cooperating with her, making her feel restless and she knows exactly why.

Santana is on her mind.

Their talk today didn't go as planned and Brittany takes full responsibility for it as she was the one who got upset and left the room. She wishes that she hadn't of done that though because she still has so much that she wants to say to Santana, and they've still got so much to sort out.

Knowing that she won't be able to sleep with all of this on her mind, Brittany picks up her phone from the bedside cabinet and scrolls down until she finds Santana's number. She knows that she shouldn't text the Latina, but she can't help it. She needs to speak to her and explain everything to her because it's what she deserves.

**Sending to Santana:** _'Hey, you busy?'_

Minutes seem like hours, but after one hundred and four seconds (it's not like she counted or anything) Brittany's phone lights up, signalling she has a new message.

**From Santana:**_'I'm just about to call Jessica, what is it?' _

Brittany reads the message a few times to make sure that she read it correctly. Her whole body feels numb and she can feel her heart pound in her chest. After their argument today, Brittany didn't think that Santana would openly speak about her relationship status, but obviously she was wrong. It shouldn't upset her, but for some reason it does and she's overcome with an overwhelming sadness. She wants to cry.

**Sending to Santana:**_ 'It doesn't matter… goodnight.' _

Brittany turns off her phone completely before Santana can reply and then turns on her side to cuddle into her daughter, grateful that she has at least one person who loves her.

* * *

First of all, I want to apologise. I didn't mean for it to take this long for an update. I've just been really sad/down lately and a lot of crap has been going on in my life and I lost track of time. It's really not a great excuse, but it's the truth and I'm sorry.

I want to thank you all for your support, reviews and alerts, and I hope that despite me not updating in a month that you all continue to leave reviews and tell me what you think!

I suppose you could say that this was like a filler chapter, but what Cassidy has been saying is important and is needed for the future :)

Once again, I'm so so so sorry for the delay and I hope you enjoy the update.

Also, if you want to get in touch with me to talk about the fic or pester me to update (it always makes me write faster) feel free to either:

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	6. Work It Out

_Brittany's eyes flutter open and she lazily brings her hands up to wipe the sleep away from them. The nauseating smell from the hospital air surrounding her makes her stomach churn, so she reaches over to take a drink from the glass on her bedside table, but frowns when she realises it's empty. It's now, when she knows that she has no water, that she notices just how dry her mouth and throat are and she wishes that she could take the IV drip out of her hand and drink the liquid from that, because that's how thirsty she is. _

_The sound of the door opening causes Brittany to snap out of her thoughts and she smiles when she sees Cassandra, her nurse, and Faith, her midwife, enter the room. "Good morning, Brittany!" Cassandra greets cheerfully as she makes her way over to her bedside, checking that the health chart and IV drip are all up to date. "It's nice to see you're finally awake. How are you feeling?" _

_"Good morning." She croaks weakly, wincing at how deep her voice sounds. "I'm really thirsty and tired… I think I'd like to go back to sleep."_

_"That's completely normal." The woman smiles warmly. "You have pain medicine going straight into your bloodstream to deal with the pain that you're currently in and that's what's making you tired. You can go back to sleep if you'd like, but before you do I'm going to get you some water and Faith is going to speak to your for a little while, okay?" _

_Brittany simply nods her head and watches as the nurse exits the room. She really likes Cassandra because she makes everything seem so simple and less scary than it actually is, and she's glad that she's her assigned nurse. When she was brought into the hospital two days ago it was her, alongside Faith, that were waiting to meet her and take care of her, and they made it feel as if she was staying with some of her old friends. _

_"I'm glad to see you're feeling better." Faith speaks, crossing the room to stand at the foot of the blonde's bed. "I know you're tired and want to rest, but your baby girl is awake and she's going to be wanting fed." _

_Brittany feels fully awake when Faith mentions her 'baby girl' because it makes everything seem so much more real. Last night, after hours of waiting and worrying, she finally gave birth to her beautiful baby that she had been carrying for nine months. She doesn't remember much about the night, but she's glad that the experience is over because what she does remember is that it was very stressful. _

_"We fed her with a bottle last night as you still hadn't woken up from the anaesthetics." Faith continues when the blonde doesn't say anything, taking it as a sign to continue. "However, I do recommend breast feeding because that is what's best for her. It's your choice though, but I need you to make a decision soon." _

_Brittany's brow furrows in deep though. She doesn't really know what she's supposed to do, but if Faith is recommending breast feeding then she thinks that it's probably the best thing to do. She's scared though, because she's never done it before and there's a chance that she might be bad at it, but she's silently praying that she'll be able to do it and that there will be no complications. _

_"I'll try breast feeding." Brittany announces with a small nod of conformation, just as Cassandra comes back into the room with a glass of water in her hands. "I don't know how to do it though…"_

_"That's okay, Sweetie." The elderly midwife smiles encouragingly. "I'll be here to help you. I'm going to get your little girl now, I'm sure she's dying to meet her mother." _

_A surge of excitement racks through Brittany's body because she's finally going to meet her daughter. The thought of holding her baby girl in her arms causes her stomach to flutter and she wishes that she could just jump out of her bed and go and see her daughter right now. She can't though and that frustrates her because she already feels as if their meeting is long overdue and that she has lost so much precious time with her._

_"Now, Brittany." Cassandra speaks, gaining the blonde's attention. "Your body is going to be very stiff and sore from your caesarean so I'm going to help you sit up slowly, and after we do that I would like to check your stitches to make sure that everything is healing like it should be, is that okay?" _

_Brittany nods her head, her mouth too full with water to verbally reply. Cassandra presses a few buttons on the bed to make it move and then rearranges the pillows to support Brittany's back before carefully helping her to sit up. Brittany winces in pain as she moves, exhaling deeply in an attempt to control it. Once she's comfortable, Brittany slowly lifts up her hospital gown to reveal her lower abdomen and gasps at the sight before her. Her stomach looks like she's had fake tan splattered all over her because of the iodine and horizontally across her stomach is a line of stitches, surrounded by stretch marks. She doesn't like it at all. _

_"Everything seems to be fine." The nurse announces after a few minutes of observation before pulling Brittany's gown back down for her. "After you've finished breast feeding and have had a little cuddle with your daughter, I want you to press the button to call me back so that I can help you take a shower and change into comfier clothes, okay?" _

_Brittany nods her head again, the image of her stomach still fresh in her mind. She can't believe that the toned stomach she once had has been replaced with a full layer of fat, stretch marks and scars. It makes her feel disgusting. She wants it to go back to the way it was before, but she knows that it won't ever look like that again. No matter what she does, she's still going to have stretch marks and scars. They're permanent. They're never going away. _

_Brittany's broken out of her thoughts when Faith places her baby into her arms, and as soon as she does so, Brittany knows that the stretch marks and scars are worth it. Her daughter is tiny and her caramel coloured skin is so soft, and she has the biggest and most beautiful brown eyes that she's ever seen. _

_The blonde allows the midwife to slide her gown down far enough so that her left breast is exposed, and she lets her arms be positioned so that they're supporting the child correctly. Luckily for Brittany, the newborn catches on quickly, and with very little help from the midwife, she latches onto her mother's breast. Blue eyes widen in surprise at the feeling, but Brittany does her best to relax as she knows being tense isn't good for her or her daughter. _

_"You're doing fantastic, Brittany!" Faith praises, backing away to give the two of them some space. "You have one beautiful baby, congratulations!" _

_"She looks exactly like her other mother." Brittany admits quietly, letting the sadness take over her somewhat cheerful mood. Santana's not here, and she doesn't know about their baby. Brittany was supposed to call her months ago to tell her about their child, but she hasn't had the courage to do so. She knows that she has to though. She needs to because Santana deserves to know. _

_"You're both lucky to have such a beautiful girl." The midwife places a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder. "If you tell her other mother about your daughter, I'm sure she'd be honoured to play a part in both of your lives again." _

_Brittany really likes Faith because she listens and understands her. When she told Faith that she was pregnant with another woman's child and explained that despite being born with a fully functional penis (Santana had explained it all to Brittany once before, but she never understood the medical side of it), Santana identified as a girl as she looked exactly like one and had natural breasts, Faith had simply nodded her head and accepted the fact and didn't ask any questions about it. Even when Brittany told her about running away from Lima and starting a new life in New York, the midwife simply sat and listened to what she was saying. She didn't judge or make Brittany feel stupid in the slightest, and the blonde really liked that. _

_"Holla! Sugar Motta has arrived!" Brittany reluctantly looks up from her daughter to find her best friend, Sugar, standing in the doorway holding a video camera up at her face. "Where is this bundle of joy that you've been carrying for nine months? I want to meet her!" _

_"She's right here." Brittany replies, unable to keep the smile from her face when Sugar practically runs across the room to see the baby. "She's feeding right now so keep your voice down so you don't startle her." _

_"She's gorgeous, B!" Sugar coos as she reaches out and gently runs her finger over one of the baby's tiny hands. "Your boobs look great by the way, I'm kinda jealous that Little Baby Pierce is the one who gets to suck on them… sorry Aspergers!" Faith coughs awkwardly at the girl's forwardness, but Brittany simply chuckles at it - she's gotten used to her friends self diagnosed Aspergers. _

_Brittany met Sugar the very first day she arrived in New York. She'd gotten lost when she left the train station and had somehow found herself at a nearby coffee shop. It was raining, so she had gone inside to shield herself from it until it stopped, but it was like everyone had the same idea because the place was packed. By the time she'd bought herself a hot chocolate there was only one seat left and that was beside a girl who wore very colourful clothing and had all of her attention focused on her phone. After deciding that it would be better to sit next to a random than have no seat at all, she approached the stranger and cautiously sat opposite them. Immediately, the girl looked up and introduced herself as Sugar Motta, and the rest, as they say, was history. _

_Brittany and Sugar sat in the coffee shop for two hours exchanging stories with one another. _

_The first thing the blonde noticed about her new acquaintance was that Sugar was extremely spoilt. _

_The second thing she noticed was that Sugar wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, which was a good thing because it made their conversations flow easily._

_The third and final thing she noticed was that Sugar was very open minded and non-judgemental, and Brittany really liked that about her. _

_When Brittany had explained to her that she was pregnant and had ran away from Lima, Ohio with very little money and nowhere to go, Sugar offered to let her stay with her because according to the brunette, she rarely used the apartment that her daddy paid for because she usually slept over at her boyfriend's house. _

_The blonde knew that living with a stranger was dangerous and probably not the best idea, but she found it hard to believe that Sugar Motta had any hidden motives or was capable of hurting her because she was just so… genuine. So she agreed, and the two of them left the coffee shop, got into Sugar's car and drove back to her apartment. _

_The two of them have been best friends ever since. _

_"Sugar, what are you doing?" Brittany giggles when the brunette shoves the camera in her face. It's one of the many things that she and Sugar have in common, they both love to record things that happen in their daily lives. _

_"I'm recording Little Baby Pierce's first feed and her first meeting with her auntie Sugar." She replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I thought that this would be a memory that you'd want to watch over and over again." _

_Brittany thinks that Sugar is a genius because she's completely right. This is something that she'll want to watch again when she's not so tired. "You're the best, Sugar." Brittany smiles just as her daughter pushes away from her, not wanting to be fed anymore. "I love you." _

_"I love you too, Britt." She says, setting the camera down on the bedside table, angling it slightly so that it will still record the moment, before perching on the bottom of the hospital bed. "Have you thought of a name for Little Baby Pierce? I was thinking we should call her Shaniqua, Crystal or Beyoncé!" _

_The blonde snorts at the suggestions because she knows that her best friend is being completely serious, and because she can see the horrified expression in Faith's face. It's priceless. "Definitely not." Brittany shakes her head. "I was thinking maybe something like Charlotte?" _

_"Charlotte?" The brunette repeats, pulling a disgusted face. "That makes her sound like she's fifty and she's not even one day old yet! What about Cassandra? Y'know, after your nurse?" _

_Brittany hums in thought for a moment but then shakes her head. "Cassandra Pierce doesn't sound quite right. What about Cassidy?" _

_"Cassidy Pierce." Sugar tests the name out, letting it roll off her tongue before grinning widely. "Cassidy Pierce is perfect!" _

_"No." Brittany disagrees. "Cassidy Faith Pierce is perfect."_

* * *

_Brittany is guided back into the room by Cassandra after her shower, and her face breaks into a smile when she sees Sugar lying on her bed with Cassidy sleeping on top of her. She wishes that she was in Sugar's position because she really wants to be the one holding her daughter, but she's glad that the two of them are getting along because they will be spending a lot of time together. _

_When Sugar sees Brittany, she carefully slides over to the edge of the bed to make room for her, being careful not to wake Cassidy up. The blonde slides in next to her, wincing in pain slightly and then opens her arms up, gladly accepting her daughter into them. _

_"So, Britt…" Sugars says once Cassandra has left the room, leaving them and Cassidy alone. "I don't want to ruin such a special day for you, but have you contacted Santana yet?" _

_Sugar is aware that she's treading on dangerous territory, but she also knows that she needs to give Brittany a little bit of encouragement to contact Santana because if she doesn't, the blonde won't do it. However, when she watches the smile that has been on Brittany face all day - despite the pain she's in- drop, she feels incredibly guilty for bringing the topic up in conversation because she honestly didn't want to ruin this day for her. _

_"No, I haven't." She admits quietly, reaching over to her bedside table to grab her phone. "Go onto my Facebook and find her on my friends list and see if there's a number I can use to contact her. If there's not, I'll private message her." Brittany decides suddenly, surprising herself and her best friend as she hands the phone over to Sugar. _

_When she left Lima Brittany left her old phone behind because she knew that if she had taken it with her, she probably would have called everyone in her contacts to let them know that she was in New York. However, she did keep her Facebook account - not that she ever use it because it would raise suspicion - and just turned off chat and never looked at the hundreds of messages that she had received over the past few months. It had been extremely hard to ignore them all, but she was pretty sure that she was doing the right thing by doing so. _

_Minutes feel like hours, but when Sugar announces that she's finally found Santana -Brittany doesn't understand how it would take so long since it still said that they were in a relationship together and was always the first person to show up on her page- she eagerly looks over her friend's shoulder and immediately feels her heart plummet down into her stomach. _

_**Santana Lopez is now in a relationship with Jessica Brownlie - March 14th 2013 **_

* * *

Brittany's eyes suddenly snap wide open and she's sits bolt right up in bed, breathing heavily and gasping for air. She looks down on the mattress to see Cassidy still fast asleep and this calms her down a little bit. She hates having dreams like this. They've haunted her from the day her daughter was born and she wishes that they would just go away. Although, it's not really much of a dream because she is, in fact, jut re-living the past and she hates that because she just wants to move on from it.

Fumbling about in the darkness, Brittany finds her phone and turns it on to check the time. She's guessing that it's around one or two o'clock in the morning and she's hoping that she's right because it means that she can go back to sleep and get plenty of rest before Cassidy wakes up. Eventually her phone turns on, showing her the time and she lets out a breath of relief when it tells her that its only half past one in the morning. She has plenty of time.

She's about to slide her phone under her pillow so that she can go back to sleep, but just as she's about to, a text from Santana pops up on the screen along with three more and two missed phone calls. She has no idea why Santana would be trying to contact her but she begins to worry in case it's an emergency.

**Missed Call: Santana - 10:47 PM**

**Missed Call: Santana - 11:55 PM **

**Incoming From Santana (10:38 PM): **'_Brittany, I didn't mean it like that…'_

**Incoming From Santana (10:50 PM): **'_I just tried to call you and it went straight to voicemail. What's going on? Why are you ignoring me?' _

**Incoming From Santana (00:15 AM): **'_I've tried to call you twice and each time it's gone to voicemail. I'm getting worried now. Is Cassidy okay? Are you both okay?' _

**Incoming From Santana (01:05 AM):** '_Britt?' _

Brittany toys with her phone in her hands, feeling extremely guilty for not replying to Santana. Although, in her defence, the Latina has said she was going to call Jessica so she wasn't expecting to receive any more messages from her. Still, she can tell that Santana is worried about Cassidy and is aware that she should text her back to let her know that their daughter is okay, even if it is at a ridiculous time in the morning and she's probably asleep.

**Sending To Santana:** '_Fell asleep and my phone was off. Cassidy is fine, she's sleeping.' _

Brittany doesn't expect to receive a reply, so when her phone signals that she has a new message seconds later, she truly is surprised.

**Incoming From Santana:** '_Okay, good… and how are you?' _

**Sending To Santana:** '_I'm fine, don't worry about me.' _

She doesn't know why Santana is worrying about her but she's beginning to get a little confused by the mixed signals she's receiving from her. One minute, they're both snapping at each other, and the next Santana's making sure that she's okay. She just doesn't get it.

**Incoming From Santana:**_'You make that impossible for me to do. Look, Brittany, we need to talk… can you come over to my house at around 11:30?' _

**Sending To Santana**:_ 'Sure. I'm going to go back to sleep now. Goodnight, Santana.' _

**Incoming From Santana:** '_Sweet dreams, Britt.' _

Brittany continues to stare at the last message on her phone. It's exactly how they used to say goodnight to each other when they were dating and not staying over at each other's houses. The only difference is that there is no 'I love you' at the end. Brittany knows that she's not going to get any sleep now.

* * *

Brittany and Cassidy are greeted by Maribel throwing her arms around the two of them and ushering them inside when they arrive at the Lopez household just after half past eleven. The elderly woman helps them with their jackets, scarves and gloves and hangs them up before offering to make them both a mug of hot chocolate that they both eagerly accept. Brittany finds it a bit strange that Maribel is being so kind to her, because in her mind, the woman should hate her, but she decides not to question it right now because she doesn't want to be rude.

"Carlos is working today." Maribel tells them as she picks Cassidy up for a cuddle which the youngster happily returns. "He's disappointed that he's not here, but if you stay until five then he'll be home."

The not so subtle hint for them to stay makes Brittany smile. It doesn't surprise her that Carlos is working, because for as long as she can remember, he has always worked from nine until five at the hospital. "We'll stay if we're welcome." Brittany answers and Maribel simply rolls her eyes in response and tells her she's always welcome here. Her words are deep and it makes Brittany feel warm inside, she's not used to this.

"Santana and Quinn are in the front room watching tv." The elderly Latina announces as she reluctantly hands Cassidy back over to Brittany, who secures her to her hip. "Why don't you go through and see them and I'll go and make you both a hot chocolate?" Maribel bustles away before the blonde can even open her mouth to answer.

Brittany doesn't know what to do. The thought of being in the same room as Quinn makes her feel uneasy, and she's s little bit annoyed that she wasn't warned about the other blonde being there before. The bathroom incident which took place in Lima Bean on the first day of their arrival is still fresh in Cassidy's mind (the slight bruising on Brittany's cheek acts as a visual reminder for her), and Brittany doesn't know how her daughter will act towards Quinn because of that. However, Brittany knows that she can't leave just because of one person so she begins to walk towards the front room, deciding that she'll only leave if Cassidy becomes stressed or unsettled as a result of the situation.

As soon as they enter the room and Cassidy sees Santana sitting on the couch, she struggles out of her mother's hold and rushes over to the woman, throwing herself at her. Santana is completely taken by surprise by the acts of affection at first and freezes up , but she quickly recovers and pulls the youngster onto her knee. The smile on Brittany's face from watching the interaction between the two drops when she sits down on the couch opposite them and finds Quinn glaring at her. She tries to shake it off though, and she focuses all of her attention back onto her daughter.

"S'tana, me and Cheeky has come to play!" Cassidy tells Santana, bouncing on her knee excitedly. "Can we draw more pictures?"

"Of course you and Cheeky can draw more pictures." Santana answers, laughing at the girl's enthusiasm. "Can I please draw with you?" She asks, wanting to spend as much time with her daughter as possible to make up for lost time.

Cassidy hums in thought for a moment before nodding her head in conformation. "We gots to ask Mama if we can go play." She warns. "Mama is the boss."

Santana can hear the sincerity in the child's statement and even though it shouldn't hurt her, it does. She too is Cassidy's mother and she should be able to make the decision of whether or not they can go and play. She's aware that it probably sounds a little bit childish, but she can't help it. It's not fair.

Suddenly, Cassidy jumps off the brunette's lap and dives across the room and into Brittany's. Once she has her mother's arms wrapped around her and she feels a little bit safer, she buries her face into Brittany's neck in an attempt to hide from everyone in the room. For Brittany this behaviour is completely normal and she knows why Cassidy is acting like that, so she relaxes into the couch and rubs soothing circles on the girl's back. However, for Santana, the behaviour's totally unpredictable and she's panicking in case she's done something wrong.

"She's scared." Brittany tells Santana, flickering her gaze to Quinn for a few second before focussing it back onto the Latina. "She's fine, you've not done anything wrong."

Brittany knows that her daughter's sudden outburst is because of Quinn. She saw the way the youngster looked to her left and saw the blonde stranger, her eyes growing wide when she realised who is was. However, Brittany doesn't really know how to deal with the situation because Cassidy had never been scared of a person before.

"It's okay, baby." She whispers, pressing a kiss into the brown head of hair in front of her. "Mama is here, there's noting to be scared of. What's the matter baby?"

"She's the m-mean lady!" Cassidy declares, her voice trembling slightly as she points an accusing finger at Quinn. "She hurt Mama."

Brittany is torn. Cassidy is completely right with what she's saying, and part of her wants to agree with the toddler and tell her she's correct. However, she knows that Quinn plays a big part in Santana's life and that it's important to the Latina for the two of them to get along. She can't willingly sabotage something as important as that when she has the power to fix it.

"She didn't mean to hurt Mama." The blonde tells her quietly, the lie burning her throat. "It was an accident, just like the time Sugar accidentally hit Kitty-Kat when they were dancing, do you remember?"

She feels Cassidy nod her head into her neck and she tightens her hold on her daughter by a fraction or so. "Quinn is Santana's friend and it would be nice if you could say hello to her when you're ready, okay?" Cassidy nods her head once again and the blonde lets out a sigh of relief just as Maribel enters the room with two mugs of hot chocolate. "Ik hou van je."

"Ik hou van je, Mama."

* * *

Brittany looks towards the doorway that Cassidy and Maribel have just exited through. After they had both finished their hot chocolates and Cassidy had calmed down, the older woman invited the youngster to bake cookies with her in the kitchen. The blonde sort of wishes that she could go through and bake with then because right now she feels out of place being in the same room as Quinn and Santana. She would be okay if it was just one of them, but both of them together is somewhat intimidating.

"How's it going with you and Jessica, Santana?" Quinn asks with a smirk, breaking the silence that surrounds them.

Brittany's body tenses at the sound of 'Jessica', but she does her best to act as if the question doesn't phase her. She's aware that the only reason Quinn is asking is to get a rise out of her, and she's not going to give her former friend that satisfaction. Instead, she pulls out her phone and smiles widely when she sees a text from Sugar.

**Incoming From Sugar Motta: **'_When are you coming home?! I nearly set fire to the kitchen when I was making toast and the washing machine turned into an angry bubble monster when I tried to use it. I NEED YOU! I also miss you and Cass, it's far too quiet and boring xxx' _

"Uh, she's fine… I think?" Santana answers vaguely, not really paying attention to what her friend is saying because she's too focused on the woman sitting opposite her. She saw the way Brittany face lit up when she looked at her phone and she really wants to know who or what has made her so happy. "Why are you even asking?"

**Sending To Sugar Motta**: '_Awww babe, why don't you go and stay with Kitty for a few days? We miss you too! Any chance you can call me soon? Cass has been asking for you xxx'_

"I'm asking because I'm your _best friend_ and I want to know about _your girlfriend_." Quinn emphasises the words 'best friend' and 'girlfriend' and Brittany is glad that her hair is covering her face, hiding her pained expression as she continues to look at her phone.

"Well, I think she's fine." Santana repeats, irritated that the blonde sitting across from her doesn't seem to be paying any attention to the conversation. "I haven't spoken to her since the day I got home from Lima Bean, so I wouldn't know."

Brittany's head snaps up to look at the brunette just in time to witness her eyes widening in shock as she realises her mistakes. Santana wants to say something to defend herself, fully prepared for Brittany to call her out for lying to her last night, but her mouth goes dry and she can't think of anything.

The sound of Brittany's phone ringing breaks them out of their trance and Brittany reluctantly picks it up from her lap to answer it. "Please don't tell me you've flooded the apartment, Sugar!" She greets cheerfully, acting as if nothing's wrong. "I'm going to go and find Cass, she'll be so excited to speak to you because we've both been missing you like crazy!" With that, she exits the room.

Santana watches as the blonde exits the room and she has to fight against the urge to stop herself from getting up and following her. She wants to know what's so great about this Sugar person and why Brittany and Cassidy love her so much. She just doesn't understand it. She should be the one that they're excited to talk to on the phone and who makes them laugh. It should be her. Not Sugar.

* * *

Brittany takes a seat across from Santana in the dining room. It's just after lunch and Maribel and Quinn have taken Cassidy outside to play. If Brittany is honest with herself, she doesn't really want Quinn spending any time with her daughter, but she knows that it's not something she can stop from happening. Santana and Quinn are best friends, so whether she likes it or not, the other blonde will be spending time with the youngster. She's just glad that Maribel is also outside to supervise.

"I'm sorry for last night." Brittany speaks up first when Santana makes no attempt to do so. "I don't know what came over me, but I turned my phone off and went to sleep. I didn't mean to worry you." There's so much more that she wants to say, but she bites her tongue and keeps it simple because she knows that they have to take this one step at a time.

"It's okay, you just suddenly stopped replying and I thought that something might be wrong." She shrugs in response, playing it off as it's no big deal and forgetting to mention the fact that she stayed up until half past one in the morning worrying about what was going on. "Can I ask you something? Why did you stick up for Quinn earlier? Cassidy already knew that Quinn had hurt you, and yet you defended her. I don't get it."

The blonde stops to think about how to phrase her answer, pursing her lips as she does so. She's never been good with words so she really wants to get this right. "I knew it was important to you." She eventually states, playing with her hands nervously. "Quinn is your best friend and I could tell that you really wanted Cassidy to like her. I did what I thought was right."

"Thanks, both Quinn and I appreciate it." She admits softly. "I'm sorry for not telling you that she was going to be here. I thought that if you knew then you wouldn't come." Brittany opens her mouth to speak, but the brunette signals for her to wait so she does just that. "I spoke to Quinn about what she did that day in Lima Bean and she promised me that she'll never hurt you or Cassidy again."

"First of all, I'd never keep Cassidy away from you. You are her mother, Santana and just because Quinn is here it doesn't mean that I wouldn't have come." She feels that it's important to stress this point to the Latina because despite keeping Cassidy a secret from her for over three and a half years, it's not something that she'd ever do again. "Secondly, I understand that Quinn is your best friend, but I don't trust her. She hit me in front of our daughter, and I don't care what her reasoning for that was, because it doesn't make the experience any less traumatic for Cassidy."

Santana wants to argue and tell the blonde that she's being over dramatic about the situation, but she closes her mouth when she realises that she's not. What Brittany is saying makes perfect sense and she'd be a fool to challenge it. She's grateful that the blonde is being cooperative with her because it makes things a whole lot easier, and even though she doesn't trust Brittany that much, she can hear the sincerity in her voice and she knows that she's telling the truth when she says that she's not going to keep Cassidy away from her.

"Why did you lie to me last night?" The question snaps Santana out of her thoughts and even though she's quite calm at the moment, she feels her body tense up and she balls her hands up into fists.

"I didn't lie to you." She answer slowly, keeping her voice low. "I just…" She trails off because she doesn't know what to say. She's lying right now and she's fairly certain that her ex-lover knows that.

She has no idea why she lied to Brittany and told her that she was calling Jessica when she had no plan of doing so. She was just so angry that Brittany got to go back to the hotel with their daughter and act as if everything was perfect in their little world, and she was jealous that she couldn't be a part of that.

"You just what, Santana?" Brittany challenges, keeping as calm as possible. "Wanted to get a rise out of me? Wanted to rub it in my face that you have a girlfriend? What did you want to achieve from it, Santana?"

"I don't know, okay?" She sighs exasperatedly. "Why do you even care?"

"I don't." The blonde defends quickly, and Santana can tell that she too is lying. "I just don't like being lied to." It's quite possibly the lamest excuse that she's ever used, but she can't think of anything better than that right now. She hates being under pressure because she's never been good at thinking stuff up on the spot. "I have more things to worry about than who you're dating."

"Yeah, like focussing on who you're dating." The brunette mumbles under her breath before she's able to stop herself. She winces at how jealous that makes her sound and prays that the woman across from her didn't hear it. She's not jealous. She just doesn't like Sugar.

"What?" Brittany's blue eyes widen in shock due to the last statement taking her completely off guard. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She's fairly certain that the brunette has gone crazy because as far as she's concerned, she's not been in a relationship sine she gave birth to Cassidy. She's not had the chance to be and she's fairly certain that no one would want to date her. Not now that her body is covered in scars and stretch marks.

"Don't play stupid with me, Brittany!" Santana spits out venomously, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've heard all about Sugar and how great she is! Were you planning on keeping her a secret from me? Just like you did with Cassidy?"

Brittany feels her chest ache at the last statement, but she guesses that she deserves it. Santana is understandably mad and upset and her, and she needs to deal with it. If Santana wants to get her anger out by making snide comments and making Brittany feel even more guilty than she already feels, then the blonde needs to accept that.

"Sugar is my best friend." Brittany finally speaks, deciding not to comment on the Latina's attack. It would cause another argument and that's something she definitely doesn't want. "Just because she's my best friend, it doesn't mean that I'm sleeping with her."

"We were best friends and we slept together."

The statement is so simple and so true. What she and Santana had was so much more than a friendship. They had a bond. A strong bond that Brittany thought could never be broken, but she was obviously wrong about that. She wants to argue back and tell Santana that what she's saying is wrong, but she can't even do that because the brunette is one hundred percent correct. They were best friends and lovers at the same time, and in Brittany's eyes, that was the best combination possible.

"It's different." The blonde speaks quietly, fixing her gaze onto the table in front of her because she really doesn't think that she can look at Santana right now. "I was in love with you."

The words cut through the tension like a knife, and the blonde screws her eyes shut to stop any tears from escaping. She won't cry because of this. She's stronger than that. She desperately wants to open her mouth and change the 'I was' to an 'I am', but she clenches her jaw closed. Santana is with Jessica now and she has to accept that. Sh screwed up her chances with Santana and she has to move on. Even if it's the most painful thing to do.

Santana watches Brittany from across the table, her mouth hanging slightly open. The phrase 'I was in love with you' rings in her ears, and for some unknown reason she wishes that the 'I was' was swapped with an 'I am still.' She knows that she shouldn't be thinking like that, she's with Jessica after all, but she can't help it. She's confused. When Brittany came back, all the emotions that she had successfully stored away came flooding back, and now she has no idea how she truly feels. She hates it.

"Look, who we date isn't each other's business." Brittany sighs when she realises that Santana isn't going to say anything in return. "What is our business is that we have a daughter and if we are going to have any chance of raising her together despite living in different households, then we need to start talking things out.

I don't expect you to ever forgive me, Santana. I know that what I did was wrong and incredibly stupid, and if I could go back in time and change it then I would, but I can't and that's a regret and mistake that I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I'm not even going to ask you for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it, and I understand if you end up hating me for the rest of your life.

I can't let you experience the first three, nearly four year of Cassidy's life, but if you want to be a part of it from now on then I'm not going to stop you in any way at all. We can work out which days suit you so that you can come and visit and in the future, when she's more comfortable around you, I'm sure that she could spend some nights over at your apartment - if that's what you want.

I'm willing to cooperate and work things out with you. I'll give you whatever you want, Santana."

"I want to be a part of your lives." Santana speaks after letting Brittany's words sink in. "I'd also love it if she could spend nights at mine, in the future."

"Great, I'm glad that we're on the same page." Brittany smiles, relieved that the two of them have managed to start working their problems out. "Is there anything else you want to talk about just now, or do you want to go and hang out with everyone in the garden?"

"There is just one more thing." Santana answers, rising from her seat so that she can go outside and Brittany does the same. "I don't want you to ever get up and leave without telling me again."

It's on the tip of her tongue to tell the blonde that she missed her, but she doesn't say it because she thinks that it's too soon to be vocalising those kind of thoughts. However, when Brittany playfully bumps her shoulder and mutters 'I missed you too', she knows that they're on the right track.

* * *

All mistakes are mine!

I want to thank everyone for the support, alerts and reviews that this has received. It honestly does motivate me to write updates faster!

I also want to thank everyone for understanding why the last update took so long and also for all the kind messages you sent me :)

Please review and let me know what you think!


	7. Back Home

Brittany is tired. It's two o'clock in the morning and the plane has just landed in New York. All she wants to do now is close her eyes and go to sleep, but she knows that she can't do that because her journey isn't over yet. She has still got a forty minute drive back to her apartment, but fortunately for her, Sugar is waiting outside the airport to drive her and Cassidy back home and she couldn't be more thankful.

"Are you ready to go?" Santana's question snaps Brittany out of her daze and she turns her head to the left to look at the Latina.

Santana was supposed to have stayed in Lima for three more days, but when she had found out that Brittany was leaving before her, she changed her flight so that they were flying together. When asked about why she had changed flights, Santana had said it was because Jessica needed her back in New York, but Brittany knew better. She knew that despite willingly giving all of her work and home contact details to Santana, the brunette was worried that she would never see Cassidy again.

"Yeah, we're ready." Brittany nods her head in reply when most of the other passengers have already gotten off the plane. She grabs her travel bag and then turns to her daughter who is peacefully sleeping and picks her up gently, being careful not to wake her up as she secures the youngster to her hip.

Santana leads the way and the two women walk in silence until they reach luggage collection. Their whole journey has pretty much been in silence due to the fact that Cassidy had fallen asleep before they had even gotten on the plane, and that neither Santana or Brittany knew what to say to one another. Their time apart and the revelation of Cassidy inevitably changed their relationship, and neither of them knew how to act around one another. It was as if they were scared to cross the unspoken boundary lines.

"Do you need help carrying your bag?" Santana asks when she picks up her suitcase and watches Brittany struggle to do the same. However, it is as if her words fall upon deaf ears because in a matter of seconds Brittany has their sleeping daughter on one hip, their travel bag over her shoulder and her suitcase handle in her other hand. The Latina doesn't know how she does it.

"Is Jessica coming to pick you up?" Brittany questions whilst they begin to walk towards the exit of the airport. She's not asking because she's bitter about the fact that Jessica is probably the one that will be picking Santana up (well maybe she is a little bit). She's asking because if Jessica isn't picking her up, the blonde was going to offer to drive Santana home. Of course she wants to get home as soon as possible, but she doesn't like the idea of the brunette getting a taxi at this hour all on her own.

"She should be." Santana shrugs, not really knowing the answer for herself. She had called Jessica earlier to let her know that she was coming home early, but as it was a Friday night, the Latina had a feeling that her girlfriend would probably be out drinking with her friends and would be in no state to drive to the airport. She wasn't going to let Brittany know that though.

"Mama, we home yet?" Cassidy interrupts with a yawn as she opens her eyes, blinking a few times so that they adjust to the bright lights surrounding them. "I wanna sleep in our house."

"We'll be home soon." The blonde chuckles, pressing a kiss into the head of hair in front of her. "Sugar is waiting to drive us on home so we have to look out for her, okay?"

Santana knows that she shouldn't let something as small as this get to her, but she can't help but feel slightly hurt and jealous when Cassidy perks up at the mention of Sugar. It's not fair. She's glad that they are all finally back in New York now because after hearing about Sugar non-stop for the past week, Santana can't wait to meet her and see what she's really like.

As soon as Cassidy spots Sugar standing on her own, she struggles out of Brittany's hold and runs over and into Sugar's awaiting arms. As the airport is quiet and there is barely anyone around, Brittany watches with a smile on her face as her two favourite girls are reunited and she even laughs when Sugar picks her daughter up and spins her around dramatically. She reluctantly tears her gaze away from them and scans the people in the surrounding area to search for Jessica (she's seen enough Facebook pictures to know what she looks like) and frowns when she doesn't spot her.

"Is Jessica running late?" Brittany muses out loud, turning to face Santana. However when she does, she notices that Santana is no longer there and she looks towards the exit just in time to see the brunette running out of it.

Everything clicks into place and the blonde realises that due to Sugar and Cassidy's reunion and the fact that Jessica didn't show up, Santana is currently feeling lonelier than ever and Brittany feels a little bit guilty about that. She wants to go and run after the mother of her child and convince her to stay, but she can't. Santana is an adult and they are no longer together. Santana can do what she wants and she made her decision to leave, so instead Brittany accepts that decision and makes her way over to Cassidy and Sugar and joins them in a family hug.

* * *

When the car finally comes to a stop, Brittany opens her eyes and lazily brings her hands up to rub the sleep away from them. Before she can even get out of the car, Sugar has already got out and picked Cassidy up out of her car seat and is protectively shielding her from the cold winter air. She didn't mean to fall asleep and Brittany feels bad for leaving her best fried to drive for an hour in silence, but as soon as the car started to drive away from the airport, sleep took over her body and she was too tired to fight it.

"Hurry up, Britt!" Sugar playfully calls as she makes her way up to their house. "Just leave the suitcase in the car." She calls over her shoulder. "We can get it tomorrow."

The idea of finally being back home causes a surge of energy to flow through Brittany and she jumps out of the car and follows Sugar up the steps and pathway to their house. As soon as they are inside, the warmth envelops them and the blonde kicks off her shoes and goes straight into the kitchen and flicks the kettle on to make two cups of hot chocolate whilst Sugar settles Cassidy in her bed.

Whilst waiting for the water in the kettle to boil, Brittany surveys the kitchen to see how much damage Sugar has done to it, but to her surprise it isn't as untidy as she thought it would be. She smiles to herself, knowing that her best friend has done her best to keep on top of the housework despite the fact that tidying the house is the blonde's job.

"I've missed you so much." Sugar breaks the silence as she enters the kitchen and leans up against the kitchen island. "You and Cassidy can never leave me again. The house was too quiet, I almost burned it down, and I got really lonely."

"Don't worry babe, I don't plan on going back there without you." The blonde smiles reassuringly as she crosses the kitchen and wraps her arms around Sugar's waist, pulling the woman into her body.

Sugar returns the hug and buries her face in the crook of Brittany's neck, due to the height difference. She never thought that not seeing her best friend for an entire week would have taken a toll on her, but after living with Brittany and Cassidy for four and a half years and then suddenly being without them made her realise just how big of a part they played in her life.

"Was it that bad?" The brunette mumbles into Brittany's shoulder before pulling slightly out of the embrace to look at the pair of ocean blue eyes in front of her.

"No." She shakes her head in response. "It made me realise just how much I actually missed her."

* * *

After paying the taxi driver and telling him to keep the change, Santana grabs her suitcase and drags it up the stairs to her one bed-roomed apartment. She's surprised to find the front door unlocked when she tries it, and then gets excited at the possibility of Jessica still being awake. Despite the fact that they haven't spoken for the entire week that she's been away, Santana really wants to see her girlfriend because right now, all she wants is for someone to hold her and tell her that everything is going to be ok.

When she enters the apartment, Santana immediately freezes in the hallway. It's freezing cold and the usually tidy floor is cluttered with various high heeled shoes. With a sigh, the Latina dumps her suitcase down beside them and wraps her arms around her body in order to shield herself from the cold air, and begins her search for Jessica.

Another sigh escapes her lips when she walks through to the living room to find the tv on but her girlfriend nowhere in sight. She looks around the room to find various clothes, take-out boxes and cans and bottles of drink scattered around the room, and huffs in frustration as she knows that she'll be the one cleaning it all in the morning.

"Jess, are you home?" Santana calls out loud, her voice echoing through the small building. She finds it strange that all the lights and electronic appliances are on, but she can't find her girlfriend anywhere. When she gets no response, the brunette switches the tv off and exits the living room, heading straight towards the bedroom.

"Babe, are yo-" Santana cuts herself off when she comes to an abrupt halt in the doorway of her bedroom. Lying sprawled out in the middle of the bed is Jessica. She's still wearing her clothes from her night out and her curly blonde hair is masking her face, but Santana suspects that her girlfriend was so drunk when she got home that she probably never even took her make up off. She also suspects that like almost every night out, Jessica will more than likely have a killer hangover in the morning, so she makes a mental note to make sure there's aspirin in the medicine cupboard for her.

Santana doesn't really know how to feel about the state of her girlfriend as she stands there staring at her. She's upset since she didn't come to pick her up from the airport, but she's also really frustrated at the way the apartment has been left whilst she has been away. Admittedly, out of the pair of them Santana does all the cleaning, but she thought that Jessica would have at least tidied up after herself throughout the week. Not wanting to make herself even more annoyed at the situation, Santana retreats from the bedroom, grabbing a few extra blankets on her way out, and goes back into the living room and lies down on the couch. With a shiver, she turns on her side so that she's facing the television and turns it back on because she knows that it's highly unlikely that she'll get any sleep when she's freezing cold, upset, and lying on one of the most uncomfortable couches in the world.

* * *

When Brittany wakes up in the morning the first thing she feels is the weight and heat of two bodies pressed up against either side of her, and she smiles when she opens her eyes to find Sugar curled up into her left side and Cassidy curled up to her right. The both of them are sleeping soundly and the blonde begins to wonder how and when they were both successfully able to slip into her bed during the night without waking her. However, she quickly comes to the conclusion that she doesn't want to know how they did it because knowing Sugar, she probably had an elaborate plan set out.

Glancing at the time on the alarm clock lying on the bedside table, Brittany inaudibly groans when she sees that it is quarter to twelve. She had a feeling that everyone would sleep in a little bit due to the previous events, but she never thought that it would be until that late. Deciding that there's no point in waking Cassidy or Sugar up until she's decided on what they're going to do today, Brittany carefully maneuvers herself out of bed and quickly makes her way downstairs and into the kitchen so that she can start making breakfast for the three of them.

Whilst grabbing the ingredients from the cupboards and fridge to make pancakes, Brittany also checks to see whether or not she'll have to go food shopping. She quickly discovers the lack of food, indicating that Sugar hasn't been shopping at all this week, and she makes a mental note to herself to make a list of food they need after they're all finished breakfast. Aside from shopping and giving the house a little clean, Brittany decides that there's nothing else important for them to do today and she lets out a breath or relief, knowing that she'll be able to spend the rest of the day relaxing.

There's still no sign of Sugar or Cassidy when Brittany finishes making breakfast, so she piles the two plates of pancakes and three cups of orange juice on a tray and takes it back upstairs to her bedroom. As she gets closer to the door, she begins to hear the faint sound of her daughter's laughter and she lightly kicks it open to find Sugar and Cassidy having a pillow fight.

"Put the pillows down and park your butts, I have breakfast." Brittany orders with enough authority to get both of the girls to listen to her. She carefully perches on the side of the bed and place the tray of food in the middle of Cassidy and Sugar before pulling her daughter onto her lap.

Immediately, all three of them dig in, sharing both the plates of pancakes and Brittany takes this opportunity to grab her phone from under her pillow and check it. She isn't surprised to find a text from Maribel asking her how her flight was, and she quickly replies to tell her that it was fine before sifting through the rest of her unread texts. Her last message is from Santana, and she pause for a moment as she reads over it once again and thinks of a reply.

**Incoming from Santana (10:38AM):** "Do you and Cassidy want to go out for lunch today?"

The question takes Brittany by surprise because at the airport the Latina left without saying anything to her or Cassidy, but she doesn't want something as small as that to get between them, so she decides to let it slide. It's a little too late for lunch now as she and Cassidy have just finished breakfast, but she is willing to compromise with Santana. It's the least that she can do.

**Sending to Santana:** "Sorry, woke up late and only just read your text. Cass is just eating her breakfast so I don't think lunch is a good idea. How about you and Jessica come over here for dinner tonight?"

She presses send and then drops the phone down beside her. She doesn't really want to invite Jessica, but she feels obliged to. After all, she is Santana's girlfriend and if Cassidy is going to be spending time over at their apartment she would like to meet her. She wants to make sure that she isn't a murderer or anything, and with Sugar also being there, Brittany knows that her best friend will have fun acting as an interrogator during dinner.

**Incoming from Santana:** "It's ok, don't worry about it. Dinner is fine, but Jessica can't make it. Do you mind if Quinn comes instead?"

A sense of relief washes over Brittany for a number or reasons, the main one being that Jessica won't be stepping foot in her house tonight. She can deal with Quinn because she knows that if her former friend starts anything, Sugar will call her out on it. She forgot that Quinn, Rachel, Kurt and Blaine all flew back from Lima earlier than she did because of work commitments but she's glad that Santana will have someone to help her feel more at ease during dinner.

**Sending to Santana:** "Quinn is welcome to join us too. Dinner is at 6:30, it's your job to bring dessert :P"

Keeping the text lighthearted and not questioning why Jessica can't come (not that she actually cares too much), Brittany presses send and turns her attention back to Sugar and Cassidy who are just finishing off the last of the pancakes. Today wasn't supposed to be stressful in the slightest, but she can already feel the pressure begin to build as she thinks about cooking dinner for five people. Especially when she knows that both Quinn and Santana will be judging her throughout it all. However, she doesn't mind doing it because by doing so, it will help strengthen the relationship between Cassidy and Santana.

"Sugar, do you want to go shopping or tidy the house today?" Brittany asks as she lies back down on her bed, pulling Cassidy down onto her chest at the same time. "Don't bother saying that you don't want to do either of them because Santana and Quinn are coming over for dinner tonight so I need you to help me out."

"What?!" Sugar exclaims, swallowing a mouthful of orange juice. "Santana and the loser who slapped you are coming over for dinner tonight and you're just telling me about it now? Nothing like a bit of short notice, Britt." She jokes, grinning at her blonde best friend. "Little Baby Pierce and I will go shopping, if you make a list."

"So you're leaving me to clean up your mess from the past week? I see how it is Miss Motta!" Brittany banters back, playfully rolling her eyes at Sugar. "I'll definitely make a list, I don't want a repeat of what happened last time!"

* * *

It's six o'clock and after a long day of tidying up and running out to the store for some food and ingredients to bake a cake for dessert, Santana is finally getting ready for dinner at Brittany's. She's glad that Quinn is coming with her too because she honestly doesn't know what she would do without her best friend. Back in Lima everything was easy because it was only her, Brittany and Cassidy, and they didn't have to worry about anything else. However, being back in New York is causing the Latina to slowly realise that working on her relationship with Cassidy and Brittany will probably be a lot harder than she initially thought it was going to be due to other distractions and commitments.

After pulling on a fresh pair of compression shorts and a pair of black jeans, Santana smooths down the white shirt that she is wearing and fixes her hair in the mirror. It may sound silly as she saw them less than twenty four hours ago, but she is already missing Cassidy and Brittany and she can 't wait to see them again.

Once she is finished getting ready, Santana leaves the bathroom and makes her way through to the living room so that she can wait for Quinn to come and pick her up. She glares at the couch as she sits down (her back is killing her from sleeping on it) and turns the television on in an attempt to kill some time, although she has a feeling that the next fifteen minutes were going to drag by no matter what.

"Santana whose cake is this?" Jessica calls from the kitchen, breaking Santana out of her thoughts and causing her to jump. Jessica hadn't left their room all day as she claimed that she wasn't feeling well so Santana hadn't thought that she'd see her before she left.

Before she can even open her mouth to reply, Jessica appears in the doorway of the living room with the cake in her hand. Santana hasn't told Jessica about her going out for dinner (mainly because she was still asleep when it was arranged) and in all honesty, she was hoping that she wouldn't need to because she didn't know how her girlfriend would take it. She had told Jessica about Cassidy the same day that she found out about her, and it had resulted in an argument over the phone and they hadn't spoken about it since. Obviously it was something that would have to be discussed sooner or later, but the Latina was hoping for later because right now just didn't seem like the best time.

"Quinn and I are going to have dinner with Brittany and Cassidy." She eventually states with a sigh, deciding that honesty is the best way to go about it. "Brittany is cooking so it's only polite that I bring dessert."

She takes her attention away from the television to look at Jessica whose facial expression changes from being confused to angry in a matter of seconds. Santana knows that they're going to have another argument and she hopes that Quinn gets to her apartment just in time to stop it. She can understand why Jessica is upset with the news that she already has a child with another woman, but it's not as if she was dishonest with her from the start of their relationship. She never knew about Cassidy up until she went back to Lima, so it's not her fault.

"Are you serious?" Jessica scoffs. "Your ex girlfriend invited you for dinner and you weren't going to tell me about it?" She challenges, taking a few steps into the room so that she's standing in front of Santana, blocking her view of the television. Not that she was watching it anyway.

"You were sleeping when the plans were arranged." Santana explains in an attempt to diffuse the situation. "I text Brittany in the morning asking her if she and Cassidy wanted to come to lunch with me, but she was busy and offered for Quinn and I to come to dinner instead."

So maybe the last part was a tiny lie since Brittany did invite Jessica, but Santana doesn't want her to know that. It's not that she doesn't want Jessica to meet her daughter, because she does. However before that happens, Santana wants to make sure that Jessica is okay with the fact that she already has a daughter and won't be bitter about it, and that Cassidy and Brittany are both comfortable around her before she introduces them to Jessica. She wants to do this right, she doesn't want to rush anything.

"So she invited you but not me?" Jessica narrows her eyes at the brunette sitting on the couch, "Are you serious right now? I've been your girlfriend for three and a half years, Santana! Do you not think that I have the right to meet your child?"

Santana opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it again. She doesn't know how to answer the question without offending the woman in front of her and causing an even bigger argument. "Look, we can talk about this when I get home from dinner. I'm not getting into this right now because I'll be leaving in a minute. I've been shopping since there was nothing in the apartment so you should be able to find something to eat. There's also money on the kitchen table if you want to order take-out. I shouldn't be longer than a couple of hours, okay?"

Jessica stares at Santana for a minute, her mouth hanging slightly open. "Fuck you, Santana." She hisses, dropping the cake on the ground before storming out the room. "You're acting like a bitch!"

"I'm the bitch?" Santana retorts, raising her voice so that Jessica will hear her. "You're the one that's acting like an immature little bitch!"

The sound of Quinn's car horn breaks the tension in the household and Santana stands up from the couch, dodging past the cake and storming out the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

This is part 1/2. I've started on part 2 and I decided to cut it as the dinner will be a key scene (with a lot of Sugar action). I just thought it was important to show the contrast of both Brittany and Santana's lives.

I know that I haven't updated in a while due to many different things, so I don't know how many people are actually still interested in this story. So please leave a review if you are because if I don't get many I think I'll probably just not continue it. I don't mean to sound big headed when I say that, but it's nice to know (and I'm sure other fic writers will agree) that I'm writing for people who enjoy it.

Also, I know that I don't usually reply to reviews publicly, but I have to with this one because it hit home a little bit. To whoever wrote the review saying: **"this wouldve been better if it was a boy instead of a daughter. honestly its cutter when both mamas have a boy. whatever. oh and also can you please stop writing cassidy like shes a retard! because its getting really frustrating when she says IS instead if ARE. and i also reeeaaally hat quinn in this fic. and can u please include some faberry in here cause i love rachel. oohh and some karley too!"**

"Mental retardation (MR), general learning disability or intellectual disability is a generalized disorder appearing before adulthood, characterized by significantly impaired cognitive functioning and deficits in two or more adaptive behaviours." I have a cousin who I'm very close to who is mentally retarded which is why I take it to heart when people use that term in the wrong way. Cassidy is 3 and 1/2. She is not fully developed yet which is why phrases with is and are get mixed up. My parents own a nursery and I help out there and I'm surrounded by kids in that age group and it's very common for it to happen. Please think before using the term, that's all I'm asking.


	8. Dinner

Brittany is in the kitchen serving up dinner when she hears the doorbell ring, she's about to go and answer it but before she can, she hears Sugar running down the hallway, closely followed by Cassidy. Shaking her head, she puts down the pot of pasta and makes her way to the front of the house to make sure that Sugar doesn't say anything out of line. She does have a tendency of doing so after all.

"Welcome to our humble abode!" She hears her best friend greet enthusiastically and she can't help but let out a quiet chuckle because it's such a _Sugar_ thing to say. "Abode... is that the right word? Kiss Kass am I using the right word?" She turns to the toddler who is clinging onto her leg wearing a massive smile on her face.

"Silly Sugar!" Cassidy giggles before raising her arms to let Sugar pick her up. "This is our house, not a boat!"

"You're right, we don't live on a boat!" Sugar gasps dramatically, playing along with what Cassidy has said. "How cool would it be if we lived on a boat? Your mama could be the captain! Do you want to go on a boat? I'm pretty sure that Grandpa Motta has one that we ca-"

"Sugar that's enough." Brittany cuts in when she sees that Santana and Quinn both look quite uncomfortable standing outside in the cold. "You and Cass can discuss living on a boat at the dinner table, but for now can you please let Quinn and Santana come inside?"

"Oh yeah!" Sugar exclaims, remembering that there are people at the door. "Welcome to la Casa de Motta y Pierce... is that right? I don't know. Santana you look Hispanic do you know? Oh wait that's rude... sorry, aspergers!"

Brittany watches the exchange and even though she knows that this is completely normal behavior for her friend, she knows that Santana and Quinn probably find it quite rude. "Sugar go and take Cassidy into the dining room, okay?" She orders as she dodges around them to greet Santana and Quinn. "Sorry about Sugar." She apologises once her best friend is out of earshot. "She can be a bit of a handful, but I promise she's a really nice person. Dinner is just being served so come on in and I'll take you to the dining room."

The blonde moves out of the way to let the two women in and she takes their coats from them and hangs them up on the coat rack before leading them down the hallway and to the dining room. When they enter, they find Cassidy and Sugar playing musical chairs with the music playing from Sugar's phone. Once again Brittany shakes her head as she watches the interaction between the two, it's normal for them to act like this but she can see from Santana's facial expression that it hurts her to see it. Brittany can understand that because she knows that her ex girlfriend would love to be able to have that relationship with their daughter, and Brittany is hopeful that the time for that will eventually come. However, to get there it is going to be a lot of work.

"Mama, mama!" Cassidy shrieks, breaking Brittany out of her thoughts as she plods over to stand next to her. "I beat Sugar!"

"Well done baby, I'm proud of you!" She coos, ruffling her daughters dark brown hair. "Dinner is ready so I want you to come with me and wash your hands before we eat, okay?"

Cassidy grabs onto her mother's hand and the pair of them exit the dining room together. Sugar takes a seat at the dinner table and Quinn and Santana follow her lead so that they are sitting opposite the brunette. Silence falls upon the room and Santana takes this time to study Sugar. She seems nice enough, but she can't help but feel as if Sugar acts a lot like Cassidy's other mother. She also still believes that there is a secret relationship going on between her and Brittany, and Santana really wants to get to the bottom of it. It's not that she'd be jealous if they were dating, after all she has a girlfriend, she just wants Brittany to be honest with her. She thinks that she may be over thinking the whole situation, and she makes note to speak to Quinn about it later since the blonde is great at reading people.

Sugar sits across from the two women and she studies them closely. She doesn't trust Santana or Quinn, but she's not going to let Brittany know that. She's aware that she has to get along with them (well more Santana than Quinn) for Cassidy and Brittany's sake, but she thinks she'll find it hard to. Brittany spent the day filling her in on what happened in Lima, and during the week that she was away she was giving Sugar daily updates so she knows all about Quinn slapping her best friend and the arguments she got into with Santana. Of course, Sugar knows that the arguments were most likely inevitable, but she can't help but feel angry at the people in front of her for causing her best friend so much pain.

"You've got a lovely home." Quinn speaks up, breaking the awkward silence that surrounds them. "You and Brittany must have to work hard in order to keep it. What do you work as?"

Sugar flicks her gaze over to Quinn and bites her tongue so that she won't say anything mean to her. She already promised Brittany that she'd try and be on her best behavior and she doesn't want to break that promise just yet. "Thank you." She flashes the blonde her best smile, being sure to miss out the crucial part of information that her father actually bought the house for her eighteenth birthday. "I own and run the company Motta Magazine because my father signed it over to me. Brittany has a good job too so between us we have a very stable income."

Sugar doesn't miss the way that Santana shifts uncomfortably in her seat when she begins to talk about her and Brittany. She's heard that the Latina believes that she and Brittany are dating and she finds it hilarious. Although, she does plan to mess about with it a bit. If she can annoy and wind Santana up, then she is going to do it because in her opinion, if she can't take a joke, then she shouldn't be around her goddaughter.

She's just about to ask what Quinn does for a living (not that she actually cares that much) but before she can, Cassidy appears in the room and climbs onto the seat next to her. "Sugar can we play after dinner?" The youngster questions as she turns to face her. "We not play together in ages."

"You're right, we haven't played together in ages! It's nearly been ten minutes!" She answers animatedly as she makes her eyes widen in shock. "When we're finished dinner we can play pirates in the living room, okay?"

"Yeah!" Cassidy agrees, nodding her head enthusiastically. "S'tana you play too?"

"Uh sure." Santana replies hesitantly as she was caught off guard by the question. She was too busy watching the way that Sugar was acting with her daughter to pay full attention to what was going on. "I'll play with you after dinner."

Before anything else can be said, Brittany enters the room carrying two plates of food and Sugar jumps up from her seat and goes through to the kitchen to help bring through the rest. "I'd like to say a few words before we eat this delicious meal." Sugar announces once everyone is seated with their food in front of them, and it causes Brittany to glare at her because this isn't a common occurrence in their household. "Dear Lord, thank you for looking after me the week that Brittany and Cassidy were gone. You made sure that I never died, although I did get attacked by the bubble monster three times and I nearly set the kitchen on fire. I'd also like to thank you for not sending Brittany to hell because I love my girl and I need her here. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank Cassidy for being such a great hugger because everyone needs that great ability and if you don't have it then you have a heart of stone. While I'm at it, I'd also like to thank you for bringing Santana and Quinn into our lives, and we should warn them that if they think they can fu-"

"Thank you, Sugar." Brittany cuts her off quickly when she realises where the speech is heading. "I think we can all eat now." She chances a glance up at both Santana and Quinn as she gathers some pasta up on her fork and notices that the two of them look paler than usual. She sighs to herself, knowing that this is going to be a long night.

* * *

Once dinner is finished, Brittany excuses herself to do the washing up whilst she leaves Cassidy and Sugar to entertain Quinn and Santana. She's a bit apprehensive about doing so because she knows that Sugar won't hold back if she's got something to say to them, and she hopes that tonight won't end in an argument. She wants Santana and Sugar to get along because both of them play a big part in both her and Cassidy's lives, but she has feeling that the two of them are going to clash a few times before that happens.

So far, everything seems to be going pretty well. There is some tension in the atmosphere but Brittany believes that it's because everyone is nervous as it's the first time they've all had dinner together. She also thinks it has something to do with Sugar because she knows how intimidating she can be. She loves her best friend though and she wouldn't change her for the world.

"Do you need any help?" Brittany almost jumps out of her skin when she hears Quinn's voice from the doorway. She turns around just in time to see her walk further into the kitchen and pick up a clean dish towel from the counter top. "You can wash and I'll dry. It can be like old times."

Brittany _almost_ smiles at the comment as her mind flashes back to when they were younger. There would be many weekends when they'd have sleepovers and help each other with their chores, and it always ended up that she'd wash the dishes, Quinn would dry them, and Santana would put them away.

"It's okay, you don't need to help." She declines as politely as she can. She hasn't been left alone with Quinn ever since the incident in the bathroom at Lima Bean, and in all honesty she'd like to keep it that way. She doesn't trust Quinn any more. "You're the guest, you should be in the living room relaxing with the rest of them."

"Sugar has Cassidy jumping from couch to couch pretending to be a pirate. I don't think there's much relaxation going on through there." The smaller woman jokes lightheartedly. "Santana is joining in with them too, but I didn't want to feel as if I was intruding. I'd rather help you out anyway, I feel as if I owe you an apology and an explanation."

"You don't owe me anything." Brittany gulps quickly as she turns her attention back to washing the plates in the sink. She hopes that her old friend will get the hint and leave, but true to her form, Quinn holds her head high and doesn't take no for an answer. Instead, she moves so that she's standing beside the other blonde and begins to dry the plates and cutlery.

"No, I do owe you an apology." She disagrees,keeping her voice firm. "When I slapped you in Lima Bean. I didn't do it because I wanted to attack you, I did it because I was so overwhelmed. When you and Cassidy went to the bathroom, Kurt told us all that Santana was Cassidy's mother. Immediately I thought of Beth and what my life would have been like if I hadn't of put her up for adoption. It made me so angry that you and Santana had this beautiful daughter whereas I had no idea where my daughter was." She explains, and Brittany stops all movements so that she can pay close attention to what Quinn is saying.

"Then, when I realised that the only reason Santana had never seen her daughter was because you never told her about Cassidy, I got even angrier because I would give anything to see Beth again. I know that I shouldn't have slapped you and believe me, Santana has screamed and yelled at me for doing so, but I honestly don't know what came over me in the bathroom. Initially I was just going to shout at you and tell you how I felt about the whole situation but things escalated quickly and before I knew what was happening, my hand hit your face."

Brittany takes a moment to process the information that she's been given. She can tell that Quinn's apology is sincere, but she doesn't know if she can fully forgive her yet. What happened in Lima Bean was humiliating due to the fact that it had happened in front of her daughter, and it was something that still played a part in their minds. Still, she takes a little bit of satisfaction from the fact that Santana shouted at her for it, but she tries not to think too much of it. Nothing is going to happen between her and Santana, and the only thing that keeps them in contact with one another is the fact that they have a child together. She needs to accept that.

"Me keeping Cassidy a secret from Santana isn't as simple as it sounds." Brittany finally speaks, her voice just above a whisper. "I appreciate you apologising to me, but I don't know if I can forgive you straight away. I can understand why you were angry, it makes sense and now that I have a daughter I can only imagine how hard it must be for you knowing that Beth is out there and yet you have no idea where. However, you slapped me in front of Cassidy and the event is still fresh in her mind. She brings it up in conversation at least twice a day and I know that it's affected her more than it has affected me. I forgive you Quinn, for slapping me out of anger, but I don't forgive you for being so careless and doing it in front of my daughter."

Silence surrounds them again, and Brittany turns her attention back to the unwashed cutlery in the sink. She's pretty sure that Quinn will go back into the living room now, but she won't blame her if she does. They both had things that they had to get off their chests and now they're out there in the open. It's a lot to deal with, especially when the events are still so fresh for everyone and the topic of children is a sensitive one for Quinn. However, they are adults now, and Brittany believes that they should be able to handle this in a professional manner and if the other blonde wants to have some space, then Brittany will be more than happy to give her it.

"I am truly at a loss for words, Brittany." Quinn says in disbelief. "I understand and agree with what you have said. I know that I shouldn't have raised my hand to you, especially not in front of your daughter, but I'm truly honored that you're willing to at least partly forgive me."

"It's okay." She shrugs, trying to play her actions off because honestly, she doesn't think she's done anything too special. "I think we should just put this behind us and we'll try to move on from there, okay?"

"I'd love that."

* * *

The evening is going well and Brittany is now a lot more at ease after her conversation with Quinn in the kitchen. Currently, Santana is reading a book to Cassidy whilst Sugar, Brittany and Quinn are talking quietly among themselves. It's nearly half past eight and Brittany has let Cassidy stay up later due to them having company, but she knows that she'll need to put her to bed after Santana has finished reading to her.

"Oh babe I meant to tell you that Donna called for you on Thursday morning." Sugar tells Brittany as she looks up from her phone. "She wants you to give her a call whenever you can so that you can set up another session with her."

"I'll call her tomorrow because I'll need to see when I'm free." The blonde replies as she begins to scroll through the calender on her phone to see what plans she has for the week. "You'll be okay to look after Cassidy for a few hours though, right?"

"Of course, just tell me when you need me to be at home." The brunette replies casually. "Oh, and Jillian wants you to schedule another appointment with her too." She adds as an after thought.

Out of the corner of her eye Brittany sees that Quinn is staring at her with a questioning look on her face and it makes her shift uncomfortably in her seat. It's understandable as she doesn't know what's going on and probably feels left out of the conversation, but it makes Brittany feel uneasy. She doesn't want to explain to Quinn about what's going on because it's something she's incredibly insecure about and it's none of her business. She now wishes that Sugar hadn't brought it up in the first place or had told her about it in private to save all of this from happening.

"Great, I'll remember to call her too." She mutters as she looks over at her daughter. Luckily, Santana has just finished reading and Cassidy's eyes look heavy and Brittany knows that she'll fall asleep in any minute. "Cassidy, it's time for bed now so say goodnight to Santana and Quinn." She calls and fortunately for her, her daughter is too tired to protest.

"Goodnight S'tana." Cassidy yawns, wrapping her arms around the woman's neck and hugging her. "You hafta come back soon, okay?"

"I'll come back soon, I promise." Santana whispers, hugging her daughter back tightly. "Sweet dreams, Sweetie."

After reluctantly letting go of her daughter, Santana watches as Cassidy says goodnight to Quinn before being lifted up by Sugar. She hears Brittany say that they'll be back down in a few minutes, but in all honesty, she doesn't really care about what she has to say. She wants to be the one who puts her daughter to bed. She wants to be the one who carries her up the stairs and tucks her in at night, and it kills her that she's never been able to do that. She tries not to get angry at the fact, but she can't help it. She just finds the whole situation so unfair.

"Santana!" Quinn's voice snaps her out of her thoughts, and the Latina reluctantly breaks her gaze away from the door that her daughter just exited through and turns to look at her best friend. "Were you even listening to what I said?"

"No, sorry. I spaced out." She confesses with a small smile. "What did you say?"

"I asked if you knew what Brittany worked as." Quinn repeats, lowering her voice so that there is no chance that either Brittany or Sugar can hear her.

"No." The Latina shakes her head, her eyebrows scrunching together in confusions because she has no idea why Quinn is bringing this up. "We haven't really spoken about jobs or anything like that, we just haven't had the time. Why are you asking?"

"Well, I overheard Sugar talking to Brittany and she said that these two women, Donna and Jillian, called her so that they could schedule another session with her." The blonde explains. "I think Brittany might be a prostitute or something."

"What?" Santana gasps, her eyes widening in shock. "You can't be serious Quinn! Are you sure you heard her correctly?"

Quinn opens her mouth to reply, but before she can say anything Sugar walks back into the room and eyes the two of them suspiciously as she takes a seat beside Santana. She's spent the evening trying to get to know Santana and Quinn, but she still hasn't really formed an opinion on either of them. Well, she hates Quinn because of what she did back in Lima Bean, but she promised her best friend that she'd try and look past that and she is trying to... kind of.

She just finds it hard to get to know people, especially when she knows how much damage they have caused to Brittany. She values Brittany and Cassidy as her family and she'd do anything within her power to protect them. She feels as if it's her duty to speak up and defend Brittany because she knows that the blonde has no one else to do it for her. After all, if the roles were reversed and she was in the position that Brittany was in, Sugar is one hundred percent certain that she'd do the same for her.

"Santana, can I have a quick word with you in the kitchen for a second?" She asks, breaking the silence that her arrival has created. She doesn't even give the other woman a chance to reply before getting up out of her seat and leaving the room. When she hears Santana's footsteps following behind her, a sense of satisfaction washes over her because she's wanted to have a word with her since the start of the evening.

Once they're in the kitchen, Sugar closes the door behind them and leans up against the counter top opposite Santana. She doesn't want to fight or intimidate the woman, she just wants to set a few things straight with her and make sure that they're on the same page when it comes to Brittany and Cassidy. She's there to protect them and she's going to make it clear to the Latina that she can't mess around with her family. If she's serious about building a relationship with her daughter again, then she will respect that decision and let her, but she won't tolerate her hurting or upsetting Brittany or Cassidy during that process.

"Look, Santana, I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that I will probably never trust you. There's just something about you that seems kind of sketchy, but I promised Brittany I wasn't going to judge you so I'm not going to. I'm just telling you how it is, okay?" Sugar starts the speech that she created earlier, her voice oozing with confidence. "I'm happy that you're trying to build a relationship with your daughter and if you're serious about doing so, I'm more than happy to co-operate and help you see her and spend time with her as often as you can. I'm not the villain here and I'm not trying to push you away, I just want to set a few things straight.

Whether you like it or not, Cassidy and Brittany are my family now. Brittany came to live with me the first day that she moved to New York and we've been inseparable ever since. Consequently, I've been there for Cassidy ever since she was born so she has grown up around me and is comfortable with me.

I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through, because I don't. However I will tell you this; whilst you keep thinking that building a relationship with your daughter that you've just met is hard and you blame Brittany for it, just remember that she has dealt with -and is still dealing with- a lot of shit. Brittany acts so happy and strong all the time, but I can tell you from an insider's point of view that she's slowly breaking, and right now you're contributing to the stress that she is under.

I can understand that you're probably confused and want to interrogate the shit out of Brittany, and that's fine, but what I ask from you is that you give her time. I'm worried that if you push her too far then it could possibly effect the foundations of the relationship that you have with both her and Cassidy and neither of us want that."

Santana stares at Sugar with her mouth hanging open. During the entire evening, the woman in front of her has acted like a little kid, and yet here she is having a mature conversation with her. She doesn't agree with everything that Sugar has said, but she doesn't think arguing with Brittany's best friend (or secret girlfriend as she still believes) is a good idea because, after all, Sugar has said that she'll help her build a relationship with her daughter. She knows that the bubbly brunette is a key part of both Brittany and her daughter's life and she is aware that she has to stay on her good side.

However, Sugar's words have got Santana thinking and she is now wondering what 'shit' her ex girlfriend has dealt with and is still dealing with. She wants to talk to Brittany about it, but Sugar warned her to give her time, so she guesses that's just what she's going to have to do.

"I understand." Santana eventually speaks up, taking a step towards the other girl. "If it weren't for the fact that you were Brittany's best friend then I probably would have given you a mouthful of insults and started an argument with you, but I'll save that for another time."

"Wow, Britt said you were feisty but I never thought you'd try it on me." She chuckles in response and it earns a smile from Santana. "I'm serious though, if you fuck with Brittany I have enough money to ship you off to another country, so you better not. Are we clear?"

"We're crystal clear, Sugar."

* * *

It's just after half past nine when Santana and Quinn decide to call it a night. They probably would have stayed longer but Sugar's lying sprawled on the couch with her head in Brittany's lap and looks as if she's going to pass out at any minute, and Quinn has work in the morning so she wants to get home too. Santana on the other hand doesn't want to go home because she really doesn't want to deal with Jessica. She has a feeling that her girlfriend will probably be waiting up for her when she gets home so that they can finish their argument, and she just doesn't want to deal with that right now.

"It was really nice to meet you Sugar, I hope I get to see more of you. Although I already have a feeling I probably will." Quinn says as the four of them stand in the hallway to say their goodbyes. "You have a lovely home too." She leans in and hugs the brunette, and Sugar awkwardly hugs her back because she's not usually one for showing affection (unless it's to Brittany or Cassidy).

"I'm glad we could work out some of our problems, Britt." She says, lowering her voice a little bit as she hesitantly reaches out to hug the other blonde. Luckily, Brittany hugs her back and some of the tension that's between them seems to vanish. "I'll probably see you soon."

"Yeah, you probably will." Brittany agrees with a nod of her head. "You have my number now too, so you can always text or call when you're not busy." She doesn't really like the idea of hanging out with Quinn on her own, but she gave her old friend her number because she knew that it would be good for Cassidy's sake. After all, Quinn and Santana are really close and if Santana is hanging out with Cassidy then there's a chance that Quinn will be there too. She knows she's being an overprotective parent, but she can't help it.

"Uh it was great meeting you Sugar, I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot of you." Santana states as she turns her attention to the woman who is currently holding onto Brittany's hand. She has no idea what she's supposed to say to the brunette because she knows for a fact that Brittany knows nothing about the conversation that they shared in the kitchen, and she has a feeling that if she finds out about it then she'll be embarrassed. "I'm glad that I can finally put a face to your name, Cassidy never stops talking about you." She adds lamely and as soon as the words come out her mouth she wants to kick herself because in her opinion, they make her sound like an idiot.

"Well, I am kind of awesome." Sugar shrugs in complete seriousness. "It was nice to finally meet you too and I'm glad that we understand each other now."

Brittany quirks her eyebrow at her friend's words but doesn't think too much of it when both Santana and Sugar smile at one another. She's so confused because she was pretty certain that Santana hated Sugar and Sugar hated Santana, but yet here they were acting like friends. She makes a mental note to quiz her best friend about it later because she's interested to know what went down between them.

"Thanks for cooking dinner, Brittany." Santana's voice breaks the blonde out of her thoughts and she looks over to her. "I'll text you some time tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure." She nods her head in conformation. "It was great having you both over for dinner, I hope we can do it again sometime." Santana smiles in agreement, but neither Quinn or Sugar seemed to hear what she had said as the two of them were too busy tapping away on their phones.

"We'll definitely do it again sometime." Santana agrees with a shy smile.

Sugar opens the door to the house and walks with Quinn to her car as she needs to get the suitcase out of her one anyway. Santana is about to follow in their lead but before she can, Brittany grabs onto her wrist and pulls her back inside for a second.

"C-Can you just wait here for a second?" Brittany asks in a fluster, her cheeks turning a slight tinge of pink. "I have something for you, I wasn't going to give you it for another few days but Sugar was a star with editing it and she got it finished today. I'll be back in a minute."

Brittany races up the stairs before Santana can even reply to her, leaving the Latina on her own to process what has just happened. She has no idea what's going on except from the fact that Brittany wants to give her something. She doesn't have time to dwell on that though, because in a matter of seconds, Brittany has re-appeared at the bottom of the stairs with a small box in her hands.

"This is for you." She puffs out, slightly out of breath from running around. She holds out the box and shakes it slightly, gesturing for the brunette to take it. "Don't worry, it's not anything bad."

Santana apprehensively takes the box from Brittany and lifts the lid off it, frowning when she sees ten USB flash drives stacked inside of it. "What is this?" She questions, tilting her head to the side curiously.

"We were apart for one thousand six hundred and sixty three days." Brittany states. "That's two hundred and thirty eight weeks, which is roughly fifty five months.

Collectively, on these ten flash drives are two hundred and thirty eight videos. They document my journey through pregnancy, Cassidy being born and then everything after that. They go right up until we got off the plane in Lima last week.

Please, Santana, just watch them."

* * *

I told you I'd have this up soon! This is part 2, I hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think :)

Can we just talk about all the reviews that the last update got? Like omfg guys that was amazing! I'm glad so many of you are still interested in the story and it pushed me to get this update finished.

Also, I know everyone is hating on Jessica right now and saying that Santana would never be with someone like her, but just wait until the next update and all will be explained.


	9. Crying Because I Can't Think Of A Title

It's taken three weeks, but reality has finally caught up to Santana and she doesn't like it. In fact, she hates it. As she lies alone in her bed, she lets the tears stream down her cheeks, making no attempt to stop them. There's no point in doing so because whenever she wipes them away, they're immediately replaced by fresh ones. She doesn't care any more though and she's beginning to wonder when her life got so fucking complicated. Well, she knows the answer to that one already. Her life got complicated three weeks ago when Brittany appeared in Lima Bean with their daughter of who she had never met before, and now she's a mother to a child who doesn't even know who she is. The whole situation is well and truly fucked up.

She still can't believe that because of Brittany's insecurities and selfish reasons that she has missed out of three and a half years of her daughter's life, and it's even more than that if you count the nine months that Brittany was pregnant for. She never thought that there would be a day that she was furious at Brittany Susan Pierce, but that day has come and it scares the Latina. Of course, when she had first found out about Cassidy she had been angry and a little bit upset at Brittany for keeping her a secret, but the situation itself was so fresh and overwhelming at the time those emotions disappeared quickly. However, now everything had finally sunk in and the feelings were back and she knew that they weren't going to go away easily. She knew that she had to sort things out with Brittany, and she was certain that it was going to end in an argument. It was inevitable.

In the back of her mind she remembers Sugar's words from two weeks ago – that Brittany was dealing with 'a lot of shit' and that she should 'give her time'- but honestly, Santana doesn't think she can do that. Brittany has had almost four years to sort out her shit, and they've been in New York for two weeks now and very little progress has been made. Sure, she has been able to see Cassidy whenever she wants and as a result of that the youngster is now more comfortable around her, but she wants answers and she knows that the only way she can get them is from Brittany. It's time for her to be selfish now.

**Sending to Brittany: 'Can we meet up today? Just the two of us, if that's okay.' **

Santana types the message and presses send before dropping her phone back down next to her. She really wants to see her daughter, but she knows that she needs to do the mature thing and talk to Brittany first and Cassidy can't be there for that. She doesn't want her to see or heat them argue because that isn't fair on her.

Santana hears the front door to the apartment open and she guesses that Jessica must be back from teaching her dance class. She check the time on the alarm clock sitting on the bedside cabinet next to her and her eyes widen when she notices that it's quarter past one in the afternoon. She's disgusted at herself for wasting so much of the day in bed and she knows that she should be doing something productive, but she just can't bring herself to do that. She just feels so empty right now and she has a hunch that the feeling won't go away until she gets answers from Brittany.

"Santana, are you still not up?" Jessica's voice breaks Santana out of her thoughts and she rolls over onto her other side to find her girlfriend standing in the doorway of their bedroom with her gym bag over her shoulder and a subway bag in her hand. "I brought lunch home for us, I didn't think you would have had anything to eat yet." She shakes the subway bag in her hand to get her attention. "That's if you're up for it?"

Santana forces a small smile and nods her head.

Jessica is driving her insane. Santana has to admit, over the past week or so her girlfriend has slowly began to accept the fact that she already has a daughter, but she knows it's going to take months or even years until she fully accepts it and wants Cassidy to be a part of both of their lives. However, despite this improvement, their relationship is slowly going downhill. One minute they're fighting and the next they're acting like a happily married couple. She's sick and tired of Jessica's mood swings and she wishes that her girlfriend would just tell her how she's feeling. She keeps insisting that there's nothing wrong, but it's apparent that there is a problem and Santana wants to get to the bottom of it. The tension in their apartment is becoming unbearable and the Latina knows that if they don't sort things out soon then one of them is going to explode.

"Thanks." Santana mutters as she takes her sandwich from Jessica and sits up in the bed, making more room for her girlfriend. "Did you have a good dance class?"

She tries her hardest not to, but as soon as Jessica sits down next to her and begins to tell her about her day, Santana zones out. It's the same old boring and forced conversation and she's getting tired of it. There are only so many times that Jessica can tell her that she doesn't think that she's getting paid enough by the studio, and that there's a teenage boy in her class who hits on her every lesson before she gets bored of hearing it. She just wants to hear something new. She wants them to talk about things that aren't about lunch and dance classes. She wants to be intrigued in the conversation. She wants to debate and talk for hours. She wants a change from it all.

Santana met Jessica at a student bar in New York on the twenty sixth of February. She had been living in New York for almost six months and Rachel and Kurt had finally succeeded in persuading her to go out with them. At first, she really didn't want to go because emotionally and mentally, she wasn't in a good place, but she knew deep down that she needed to move on. Brittany was gone. She was no longer here, and as far as the Latina was concerned, she wasn't coming back. She just hadn't accepted that fact yet.

When she arrived at the bar with her two friends, Santana's eyes were immediately drawn to the blonde dancer in the middle of the floor. She was aware that the girl looked exactly like the one that she was trying to forget about (although her legs weren't as long and her eyes weren't as blue), but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she approached her. That night, Santana left with her phone number.

Their relationship grew from there and both girls were surprised when they realised just how much they had in common with one another. They were both nineteen, went to the same college, and were both going through rough times because of their previous partners. Rachel and Kurt had warned her not to get involved with what they deemed as a 'Brittany Clone', but as usual the Latina didn't listen to them, and a few short weeks later she and Jessica were dating. At first, everything seemed to be going perfect for them. They were both head over heels for one another and spent all of their time together. However, they hit a bump (well Santana hit a bump) in their relationship on February fourteenth.

To most people February fourteenth was Valentines Day, but for Santana it meant that it was Brittany's birthday. Jessica had been a great distraction for nearly a year, but deep down Santana knew that she still had feelings for Brittany and no matter what, they weren't going to go away. Still, she had no idea where Brittany was or what she was doing so for that reason she decided to stay with Jessica. There was no point in breaking up with her for a girl who she was no longer in contact with. The brunette knew that it wasn't fair to do that to Jessica, but she couldn't help herself. She needed to be selfish and she didn't really see the problem with what she was doing because as far as she knew, Jessica was still infatuated with her as much as she had been since the start of their relationship.

Unbeknownst to Santana, Jessica had noticed the change from her and from that day forward the two of them began to grow distant from one another. At first it wasn't that obvious because they lived together and saw each other everyday, but about a year and half into their relationship they both began to make excuses to why they couldn't go out on dates or what they were doing in the evenings so that they could hang out with other people. Santana clocked on to exactly what was happening by then, but she pretended to be oblivious to what was going on and so did Jessica. It was easier for them both that way, and if their relationship wasn't truly broken then there was no point in 'fixing' it.

"Santana are you even listening?" Jessica huffs, snapping the brunette back to reality and Santana has to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the other woman. "You always space out when I'm talking and act like you're not interested! I bet you don't even know what I just said to you!"

"Of course I was listening." She scoffs in reply, taking a bite of her sandwich. "You said that the studio still aren't willing to give you a raise and that Trevor was hitting on you again." The words roll off her tongue as if it was a rehearsed line from a play and she swears that she could have this conversation with the woman in her sleep. "Have you got any other plans for today?"

Jessica begins to reply, but Santana's phone screen lighting up catches the Latina's eye and she zones out of the conversation once again as she picks it up off the bed. Brittany's name flashes up on the screen and her heart rate begins to increase as she's desperate to know if they can meet up or not.

**Incoming from Brittany: 'Cass has dance class from 2-3 but my friend Kitty teaches it and says she can keep her afterwards if we need more time.'**

Santana internally does a little victory at the fact that she'll be able to grill Brittany for some answers today and tries to push the fact that they'll probably fight out of her mind. The idea of fighting with Brittany scares her because it's never happened before. Sure, they had disagreements when they were in high school, but they were over tiny little problems. It's never been as serious as this.

"Santana!" Jessica snaps, grabbing Santana's phone out of her hands. "Oh, so that's why you weren't listening to me." She scoffs as she reads the text on the screen. "You're going to meet up with that little whore."

The brunette closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She doesn't want to fight right now. Everything seemed to be going well until Jessica saw the text and she'd rather talk it out with her instead of screaming at her about it. "You know it's not like that, and you know that she's not a whore." She speaks slowly, her voice trembling slightly. "I need answers from her, Jessica. She's the mother of my child and even though she's told me why she left in the first place and why she didn't get in touch with me after Cassidy was born, I know that there's more to the story than she's letting on. She's given me videos of her and Cassidy's lives for the past four years or so, but I don't want to watch them until I get some closure from her.

The mother of my child is not a whore. I know that you don't like Brittany and right now, she's not exactly my favourite person either. She left me with no warning and then didn't even have the balls to tell me that she gave birth to my child. However, what I do know is that I was the one who took her virginity and I was the one who got her pregnant. I know that for a fact. Brittany wouldn't lie.

Call her a bitch. Call her an ass. Call her whatever you want, but please Jessica, don't call her a whore or a slut because she isn't one."

Snatching her phone back out of her girlfriend's hand, Santana gets up and storms out the room in order to get ready for her meeting with Brittany.

* * *

Santana arrives at Brittany's house just after half past two and as soon as she enters, she immediately feels the awkward tension between the two. She notices that Brittany looks paler than usual and has dark circles under her eyes, but she decides not to say anything about it because it really isn't her business any more. Brittany isn't hers so she doesn't have the right to look after her. Sugar can do that. She follows Brittany's lead into the living room and sat down on the couch next to the blonde, turning her body slightly so that she was facing her.

"Brittany, we need to talk." Santana eventually speaks when Brittany doesn't say anything, getting straight to the point of the conversation. "Sugar told me that I had to give you time to open up and talk to me about the past four years, but honestly, I can't do that any more. I've missed out on three and a half years of our daughter's life because you were selfish, so now it's my turn to be selfish and get some answers from you."

Brittany didn't even try to protest because she knew that Santana was one hundred percent correct in what she was saying. There were some things that she didn't want to talk about (personal things that only involved her and not Cassidy) and she was going to try and steer the conversation from going in that direction, but she was more than willing to answer anything that Santana asked. She had every right to ask her whatever she wanted and she even felt a little bit guilty that Santana had waited this long to bring the conversation up.

"You can ask me whatever you want." Brittany spoke up, clearing her throat. "I had no idea Sugar said that to you and I apologise for what she said because she had no right in doing so. I don't want you to ever feel as if you can't ask me something because you can. I promised you when we were in Lima that I was going to let you into Cassidy's life and give you whatever else you wanted, and I meant that."

For once, Santana was kind of shocked with what her ex-girlfriend had said and didn't know how to reply. It was as if Brittany was making this too easy for her and she felt as if there had to be a catch. She didn't understand why Brittany was being so cooperative with her. She was giving her everything she wanted and that in itself kind of annoyed her. She wanted to fight with Brittany. She wanted to scream and shout at her. She didn't want it to be this easy.

"Why did you do it?" Santana suddenly asked as she fixed her gaze onto the ground in front of her. "Why didn't you tell me?" She knew that she didn't have to elaborate any further so she waited for the blonde to reply. She wasn't in a hurry so she was willing to give Brittany as much time as she needed to answer her questions. The subject of the past was a sensitive one for both of them and as much as she hated and blamed Brittany for the entire mess, she didn't want to put her through any unnecessary pain.

Brittany opened her mouth, but closed it again. She knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to explain it, but she just couldn't find the words to do so. She wanted to give Santana valid reasons and she had them in her mind, she just couldn't seem to say them. She had never been good with words though, and this had always been a problem for her. "Have you watched any of the movies I gave you?" She asked, taking the conversation in another direction when she got an idea. "I promise I will explain anything you want me to, but I think that watching the first movie I made will help with all of this."

"No." Santana shook her head. "I haven't watched any of them yet, I couldn't bring myself to do it."

Getting up from her seat, Brittany went over to the cabinet that the television was resting on and bent down, rummaging through the dvds that were there. A few seconds later she pulled out a dvd box which read _'Britt's Pregnancy – The Whole Nine Months'_ and she took out the first disc and popped it into the dvd player before grabbing the control and turning on the television.

* * *

_Brittany is in her room, sitting on her bed. The camera is at a distance from her, resting on her dresser, but it's evident that she's been crying as her eyes are still red and puffy. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and she's wearing a pair of old sweats and a tanktop. She looks a mess. _

"_Hey Santana." Brittany greets, her voice cracking as she brings her hand up to wave at the camera. She forces a watery smile onto her face but it soon disappears as fresh tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "I-I'm really sorry Santana. I've fucked up so badly and it's all my fault. I'm so stupid and I should have told you sooner when I thought something was wrong, but I never thought that this was going to happen to us. I-I d-"_

_Brittany cuts herself off as she begins to sob loudly once again. She clutches her stomach and leans forward so that she's curled up into a ball as her whole body shakes on the bed with each sob. The blonde tightens her arms around herself, pretending that they're her girlfriend's arms, and it makes her feel a little bit better. However, thinking of Santana worries her because she knows that the Latina is going to be disappointed in her. Everyone is going to be disappointed in her because she was so fucking stupid. _

"_I-I always thought we would be together forever, Santana." Brittany starts again, sitting back up and looking at the camera lens. "I always thought that one day, in the distant future, after going through a ton of good times and bad times with you, that I'd have your children. I thought that we'd have a house and our life started in another state. I thought we'd have a dog o-or maybe a cat... I-I'm so s-s-sorry S-S-San..."_

_Brittany sobs loudly again and she begins to cry uncontrollably. She can't stop. She's been crying for hours now and she thought that she would be all cried out, but she's not. She doesn't think she ever will be because she knows how disappointed Santana is going to be when she sees this. Santana is going to hate her for being so stupid and there's a possibility that she'll break up with her for it. She just wishes that the problem would just go away. It wasn't as if she had meant for it to happen in the first place. She thought they were being save. Never in a million years did she believe that this would happen to her. _

"_S-Santana I'm r-really sorry for disappointing you and being s-so s-stupid." The blonde weeps again, bringing her hands up to her face and wiping her eyes. "I-I'm p-pregnant with your baby."_

* * *

Santana can't believe what she has just watched, and she sits frozen in place as Brittany pauses the movie. She knew that Brittany obviously had her reasons for not telling her about the pregnancy, but Santana never thought that it would be because she felt as if it was all of her fault. Watching an eighteen year old Brittany cry and hate herself on television is some kind of torture for Santana and it gives her a horrible feeling in her stomach. She just wants to lean over and hold the blonde in her arms, but she shakes that thought out of her head as quickly as it had entered. Brittany wasn't hers. She was supposed to be angry at her.

Taking a deep breath in and exhaling slowly, Santana blinks back the tears that have formed in her eyes and turns her attention back to her ex-girlfriend. "Did you really feel like that?" She asks quietly, keeping her voice gentle. Brittany nods her head in response. "Britt, it was never just your fault. I willingly slept with you. I was aware that we weren't using condoms and I was aware of what the consequences were. It takes two to tango. It's equally our faults, and you should never have thought otherwise."

"I know that, and in the back of my mind I knew that back then too." Brittany sniffs, tightening her hold around her knees. "I just felt as if I had disappointed you. I told you that we didn't need condoms because I was on the pill and then when I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't help but think that it wouldn't have had happened if we had stuck with the condoms. If I hadn't of been so stupid and suggested that I would start taking the pill then I wouldn't have gotten pregnant. That's what was going through my mind back then, Santana. I felt as if I was burdening you."

"No Brittany." Santana shakes her head, not wanting to believe what she was hearing. If they hadn't of moved on from the condoms then there would have been no Cassidy and Santana couldn't imagine a life without her now. "I don't want you blaming yourself for this because when you suggested that you take the pill instead of us using condoms, I agreed with you. Our relationship was a two way thing, we made decisions together and nothing was one-sided. You getting pregnant was just as my fault as it was yours. I hate that you thought that it would be a burden if you told me, because it wouldn't have been."

Brittany was quiet for a moment as she took in Santana's words. The Latina was being too kind to her. She was expecting her to shout and scream at her, not act as if she understood her actions or why she did what she did. She wanted Santana to get angry at her because she knew that what she did wasn't right. She deprived her of the first three and a half years of her daughter's life. The last thing she wanted from Santana was sympathy. She didn't deserve it.

"Please don't feel sorry for me." The dancer begs, her voice just above a whisper. "I don't deserve your sympathy Santana. I'm not showing you these movies so that you feel sorry for me. I'm doing it so you can have a better understanding of what I was thinking and feeling at the time.

I know now that me getting pregnant wasn't all my fault. I know now that you're as much to blame as I am. However, I only came to terms with that and stopped blaming myself for what happened a few months ago. I liked believing that it was all my fault as it made me feel like I was punishing myself. By hating myself for not telling you about Cassidy, I was mentally hurting myself and I liked that because it was what I deserved."

The brunette's mouth hung open at Brittany's words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Brittany was sitting in front of her, telling her that she deserved no sympathy for what she had done, and despite being incredibly angry with her Santana found that hard to do. Of course what her ex-girlfriend had done was unforgivable, but she could understand to an extent where Brittany's thought process was coming from. Also, Brittany used to be her best friend and lover, Santana still had a soft spot for her and she knew that it would always be there no matter what. She wanted to shout at Brittany since that's more than likely what the blonde wanted her to do, but she knew that it was going to get them nowhere and couldn't bring herself to do so.

"Can we skip to when Cassidy was born?" Santana asks, deciding that right now was a good time to change the subject all together. "I promise to watch all of the movies, but right now I just need answers for specific things."

Brittany simply nods her head and gets up to change the dvd.

* * *

_Brittany stares into the lens of the camera. Her eyes are dark, her face is pale and she looks skinnier than usual. Her collarbone is jutting out of her skin and her bare arms showing through her tanktop look like toothpicks. She doesn't look healthy. _

"_Hi Santana." Brittany greets, her voice is weak and it sounds as if she could fall asleep at any minute. "It's been two weeks since Cassidy was born and it's been two weeks since I found out about you and Jessica. I've wanted to call you or send you a message on Facebook to tell you about Cassidy, but I can't bring myself to do it. _

_You look so happy, Santana. I've seen the pictures of you and Jessica and I don't want to come barging back into your life and ruining it all for you. I know I need to tell you about Cassidy, and believe me I want to, I just... I can't. I left when I found out I was pregnant so that I wouldn't ruin your chance at college, and now I feel like if I tell you about her now then it's going to ruin your relationship. I want what's best for you, but right now I don't know what that is. _

_Santana, I'm so confused and scared. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm looking after a baby who keeps crying and won't stop. I don't think she likes me. I'm working ridiculous hours because I can't get time off work, and at the same time, I'm trying to lose weight. I don't want you to feel sorry for me Santana, but my life is falling a part and I don't want to drag you into all of this. You don't deserve that. _

_How would you feel if I turned up to your apartment and told you that I gave birth to your daughter? Would you believe me, Santana? Would you tell me to fuck off because you didn't want to be a part of our lives? Would you tell me that everything would be okay and that we would work something out? _

_I'm scared to know the answer. I'm scared that you're going to be mad at me and see how fucked up my life is and will want nothing to do with Cassidy or I. I don't want that to happen, Santana."_

_Brittany stops talking when she begins to hear the cries of Cassidy, and that sets her off too. Being a mother is overwhelming and before she can stop herself she feels the tears roll down her cheeks and the sobs rack through her body. She feels so useless and helpless right now, and she wants to just give up. _

"_Shit, Santana... I need to go." She wipes her tears with the back of her hand, flinching when Cassidy's crying grows louder. "I-I want to tell you, honestly I do, but not when I'm like this."_

* * *

If Santana is honest with herself, she can't say that if Brittany had come to her apartment and told her that she'd given birth to her daughter that she would have been okay about it, because she wouldn't have been. She knows that. She probably would have freaked out for a while and told her to leave whilst she thought everything through. Although she knows that, she also knows that after taking time to calm down that she would have made it work and accepted the situation for what it was. However, she knew that that didn't give Brittany the right in keeping their daughter a secret. She had no right in doing so, and even if she was scared, she should have just got over it and grown a pair of balls and called her. It would have all eventually worked out.

Still, she couldn't help but think that there was more to what Brittany was saying during the movie. She saw how ill the blonde looked and the words _'I'm trying to lose weight'_ and _'my life is falling a part'_ stuck in her mind and she was genuinely worried for the woman. It wasn't like Brittany to exaggerate anything so when Santana watched her admit that nothing was going right for her and that she had no idea what was going on, she truly believed her. She also believed that Brittany's problems were still here and that was what Sugar was referring to when she said that Brittany was still dealing with some shit.

She didn't think it was appropriate to bring it up in conversation though. It wasn't her business and if Brittany wanted to talk about it then Santana knew that she'd bring it up herself. She discreetly looked over at her ex-girlfriend to see that she staring at her hands, refusing to make eye contact with her and Santana knew that this was a sign that she was still hiding something.

"Britt... I don't know what to say." Santana starts to speak, searching for the right words to use. "I can't imagine how it felt to be in your position, but I have to say, you brought it on yourself. You didn't have to do this on your own. You could have called me and told me, but you never and you had your reasons for that. You chose to do this alone and even though it hurts to watch you cry, I can't feel sorry for you. I had no idea that you gave birth to my child because if I did, I would have helped you. I would have done anything you wanted. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have been upset with you for keeping it a secret, but I would have put that aside and helped you out."

Even though Brittany expected words like that from Santana, they still hit her like a ton of bricks. She knows that she brought it on herself. She made the decision not to tell Santana and she dealt with the consequences of raising a child on her own. It was hard and she never wants to have to go through the experience again. It was terrifying and she hates even thinking about it. Of course, she did have Sugar occasionally helping her out, but her best friend also had her life to live and often left Brittany in the house alone. It wasn't anyone's fault but her own.

"I know you would have." She eventually replies, nodding her head in acknowledgement to the Latina's statement. "I accept that it's my fault."

"Can I ask you something?" Santana questions hesitantly, to which Brittany nods her head. "You're suffering in that movie clip and you still are now." It's more of a statement than a question, but she doesn't think about that too much. "What was going on?"

Santana doesn't miss the way Brittany tenses up next to her and she's worried that she's overstepped the invisible line that has been drawn between them. "I... can we not talk about that right now, please?" The blonde pleads, the desperateness clear in her voice. "I promise I'll explain another time, but not now. Please, Santana."

Despite not wanting to drop the subject, Santana sighs inaudibly and nods her head. It isn't really her business and she's not really sure why she wants to know what's going on with Brittany, but she can't help but be intrigued. "Just know that if you ever want to talk them I'm here for you, okay?"

"Thanks."

* * *

Brittany comes back through to the living room with a mug of coffee for Santana and a mug of hot chocolate for herself. The two of them have been talking for over an hour and a half now and they still have a long way to go, so Brittany decided to make them both drinks. She's glad that she and Santana are talking things through, but she's also worried because her ex-girlfriend has began to take an interest in her and that was never supposed to have happen. She was meant to be focused on Cassidy and not her.

She gives Santana her coffee and then takes her seat beside the woman, bringing her knees back up to her chest and placing her mug of hot chocolate on top of them. They sit in silence for a few minutes and Brittany watches as the Latina tentatively sips at her coffee. She wants to say something, but she doesn't know what. She's sure that Santana probably has a million more questions for her, but she wants to wait until Santana asks her them. She wants all of this to be taken at a pace the brunette is comfortable with.

**Incoming from Sugar: **'Got the presents you wanted for Cass and a few from me. Just on my way to get the tree. Are we buying extra this year or is Santana taking over? xox'

Brittany reads the text message from her best friend and inaudibly curses. She forgot that Christmas was in a couple of weeks. Well, she didn't forget. She just had other things on her mind. Christmas and Cassidy's birthday were the only two times in the year when Brittany let Sugar go crazy with spending her father's money because they were both important holidays. Christmas was a huge holiday at the Motta-Pierce household, but this year it would be different. Sugar wasn't going to be there for Christmas as her mother was currently ill and she was going back home to visit her, and Santana was now a part of Cassidy's life which meant that she'd hopefully be spending time with them on Christmas Day. Well, that is if she wants to. Brittany wouldn't force her to do anything.

**Sending to Sugar: **'Thanks babe, I owe you big time! Santana's with me just now so I'll ask her. See you soon xox'

"It's Christmas in just over two weeks." Brittany states as she puts her phone down onto the coffee table. "I know you're parents are coming to visit for New Year because they asked to see Cassidy which is obviously not a problem, but I was wondering if you had plans?"

Santana slowly lowered the mug from her lips and turned to look at Brittany. With recent events Christmas hadn't even crossed her mind and she was completely unprepared for it. She and Jessica didn't really celebrate Christmas. They usually just went to Jessica's parent's house for dinner in the evening and that was it. However, now that Cassidy was in her life, Santana wanted to spend all of Christmas Day with her. She wanted to see her opening her presents and playing with them. She wanted to be there for the full experience.

"No. Jessica and I don't really celebrate Christmas so we don't plan anything." She partly lies, not mentioning that they do usually have dinner at the Brownlie household. She wants to spend this day with her daughter so she's willing to miss Christmas dinner for that. "What about you, do you have plans?"

Santana knew her question was stupid as soon as she said it. Of course Brittany would have plans. It was Christmas after all and the blonde was one of the most festive people that she had ever met. She also had Cassidy and knowing Brittany, Santana guessed that she already had piles of activities set up for the two of them and Sugar. She kind of wishes that she could take her question back because she doesn't really want to hear the answer. She doesn't want to know about what Sugar, Brittany and Cassidy will be doing as a family on Christmas. It's not fair.

Brittany simply shakes her head as she mutters a quiet 'no' and it takes Santana by surprise. She raises her eyebrows, willing the blonde to elaborate further. "Sugar's mom is sick and it's probably the last Christmas she'll have so she's leaving to spend it with her." She explains sadly. "Cass and I were going to go too, but after everything that's happened I decided to stay here for Christmas because I thought that you'd want to see Cassidy. If you don't want to then that's fine, I mean I wou-"

"Britt, of course I want to spend time with you and Cassidy on Christmas." Santana cuts her off mid sentence because she can't actually believe that Brittany would think otherwise. "This is all just new to me, and I'm kind of freaking out inside because I'm supposed to be her mother and I haven't bought her any presents. I don't even know what she wants! I want to spend all day with her but I doubt that's possible, I mean I'm su-"

"Santana, calm down for a second." This time it's Brittany that cuts the brunette off and she hesitantly reaches out and places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We can sort through all of this one problem at a time, okay?

First of all, you're more than welcome to spend all day with Cassidy on Christmas. I mean she'll probably wake up at about six in the morning so you'll need to be here super early if you want to see her reaction to Santa and watch her open her presents, but if that's what you want to happen then that's what will happen.

As for Christmas presents, she will be expecting them. Ever since she was born, Sugar and I have always bought more presents for Cassidy and then said that they were from her Mami. I know it probably wasn't my place to do that, but it kind of felt like despite not meeting you she sort of had a connection to you. I know that it sounds stupid, sorry. Anyway, you don't have to buy her anything if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel as if you have to. However, if you do, I have her list to Santa and there's still plenty of things on it. It's up to you."

Santana takes a second to process the information. It hurts. It hurts to know that Brittany has been buying extra presents for their daughter and saying that they're from her. She feels like a fraud. Still, a small part of her likes the fact that Brittany has done it because it won't be weird for her to actually buy and give presents to Cassidy. Well, that's if she tells Cassidy that she is her Mami. The Latina doesn't know how to bring that conversation up with Brittany. Of course she wants her daughter to know who she is, but she doesn't want to tell her before she's ready to process the information. It wouldn't be fair on the youngster.

"I want to buy for Cassidy." Santana eventually speaks up. "I want to spoil her and give her everything that she wants. I just... I want her to know who I am, Brittany. I want her to know that I'm her Mami."

The room goes completely silent and Brittany simply stares into her ex-girlfriend's brown eyes. She knows Santana is being serious with her, and that's okay. Telling Cassidy that Santana is her mother was inevitable, she was aware of that. She just didn't think that they'd be having this conversation so soon. However, she couldn't deny Santana that privilege. She wasn't going to do that. If Santana truly wanted to tell Cassidy then they would. Their daughter was intelligent enough to understand the concept of her other mother coming back into her life, so she didn't think there was going to be a problem.

"Okay." The blonde chokes out. "If you're sure about this then I'm sure we can work something out and tell her. I think it will be good for Cassidy if she knows, I think she'll want to bond with you more. Things have moved on a little quicker than I expected, but if you're comfortable with telling her then so am I."

"Brittany, I'm one hundred percent committed to this and I honestly believe that telling her now is the best time." Santana answers, a little bit offended that the dancer is questioning whether or not she is sure about this decision. "I want to do this the best way possible though, so what do you suggest?"

"I think we should tell her on Christmas Day." Brittany answers without hesitation and Santana frowns because that's still fourteen days away. It seems too long, but before she can protest Brittany begins to speak again. "If we tell her on Christmas then you'll be able to give her the presents that she usually gets from her Mami, she'll be able to associate that and then we can explain to her who you really are. Also, it will be in a calm, comfortable and save environment as there will only be the three of us and Jessica, if you want to invite her."

Santana's thoughts drift back to her girlfriend at home. Jessica. Does she want her there on Christmas? Not really. She'd love to spend Christmas with her girlfriend, but the fact that they're constantly fighting with one another is a big turn off for her. Also, she knows for a fact that Jessica hates Brittany and she doesn't like the idea of the two of them being in a room together. The tension would be unbearable. She doesn't know how she's going to explain to Jessica that they're going to have to spend Christmas Day away from each other, and she's definitely not looking forward to telling her because she can guarantee that it will cause a fight.

She then thinks about what else Brittany has said and she has to admit, it makes sense. If they wait until Christmas then she can give Cassidy presents that she bought for her and explain to the youngster who she actually is, and by waiting two more weeks means that she still has time to get to know her little girl even more. The plan is actually kind of perfect.

"Jessica won't be coming." Santana replies quickly. "She's still not happy with the fact that I've already got a child and I think it would do more harm than good to invite her here. She'll understand though, so don't worry about it."

It's a lie. It's a massive fucking lie and she's surprised that Brittany isn't calling her out on her bullshit. Jessica isn't going to understand. Jessica is going to be livid. She's going to scream. She's going to shout. She's probably going to call Brittany a whore again. Santana knows exactly how the argument is going to go. She wants Jessica to be a part of Cassidy's life, she really does, but she also wants to protect her daughter. Currently, Jessica isn't fit to be around her little girl and until she is, Santana's not going to let her anywhere near her. She's doing what's best.

"Can I ask you a question, Santana?" Brittany tilts her head to the side curiously. "Why aren't you shouting at me? You should be angry at me and hating me for what I've done, but whenever we talk you seem relatively calm about it all."

The brunette sighs and runs her hand through her hair. She doesn't really have an answer to that question. Inside, she is angry at Brittany and hates her for what she's done, but whenever she attempts to shout at Brittany for what she's done, she just can't bring herself to do it. "Brittany, I am incredibly angry for what you've done." She states, closing her eyes whilst she thinks about what to say next. "I just know that shouting and screaming about it isn't going to get us anywhere. I can scream and cry at you for hours, but what's that going to solve? Nothing."

"Why are you being so cooperative?" Santana suddenly questions, taking both women by surprise. It's a question that's been on her mind since the day they first met in Lima Bean and she really wants to know the answer. Brittany is practically letting her walk all over her, and it's weird. Admittedly, her ex-girlfriend has always been quite quiet, but she's always spoken up if she thinks someone has or is taking advantage of her. She's not doing that now though. Instead she's giving in to all of Santana's requests.

"I don't have the right to sit here and tell you no, Santana." Brittany answers honestly with a little shrug. "Everything you've asked for you deserve. You're being more than fair with your requests and like I promised, I'll do whatever I can to help you build a relationship with Cassidy.

Who am I to sit here and deny you from visiting your daughter or telling her who you are? Damn Santana, I've done that for three and a half years and I hate myself for it. I'm not doing it to look good or so that you'll think I'm a saint. Those are not my motives. I want you to hate me for what I've done. I don't want you to thank me for helping you and being cooperative because I don't deserve that.

I don't deserve your sympathy. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve anything, Santana, and that's why I've not asked for it. I look back on what I've done and I hate myself for it. I had no right keeping Cassidy from you and I know that. Sure, I had shit going on and I'm still dealing with it, but is that a valid excuse? No, it's not and I can't believe that I went three and a half years pretending that it was. I'm pathetic, and I know that.

I've accepted the fact that you're never going to forgive me for this. I'll admit it is hard to come to terms with, but that's my own problem that I have to deal with. I've accepted that you've moved on with your life and that you've got a new girlfriend. I've even accepted that there's no place for me in your life any more, a part from being Cassidy's other mother. I've accepted it all, and that's the reason why I haven't asked for you to forgive me."

* * *

Thank you once again for all your lovely reviews, and sorry for the wait! I've not had the chance to properly read this all through, so all mistakes are mine.

The laptop that I'm using is about to run out of batter so I'm gonna make this quick.

I got a few reviews saying that Santana should be angry at Brittany, and that Brittany should be working for Santana's forgiveness.

I purposely made this update focus on the two of them because I felt as if the last updates didn't quite show what I was hoping they were going to. Brittany does not want Santana's forgiveness. She doesn't deserve it. That's why she's not working for it. Santana's not getting angry at Brittany because even though she wants to, she knows it won't get them anywhere. Don't worry though, there will be times when Santana does get frustrated and snaps. I just thought it would be rather unrealistic to have Santana screaming at Brittany when Brittany knows what she's done wrong.

I think that's all I've got to say... Next update will be mainly Santana and Cassidy based :)

Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you all think!


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